Dear Mr Mueller,
Or M-dog as I like to refer to you.
Greatest prosecutor ever, great American Patriot and excellent hair for a gentleman of your experience. I would love to take a selfie with you, although a dreamstealing breh on my fave website told me that wouldn't be possible (he's not a hater, just a dreamstealing ass nukka)
Since my selfie dream can't be realized, I am writing you to humbly request that you lock Eric Prince's demonic mercenary ass up for forever. (For-eva-eva)
My birthday is in July and if you could make that happen on or prior to my wildest dreams would be come true!
I no longer believe in Santa, but I do believe in you M-dog.
Thank you in advance
-wickedsm