GnauzBookOfRhymes
Superstar
Those are always fun.
"Campaign insiders reveal startling moment Pete Buttigieg confessed to eating cold Pop tarts. Campaign staff managed to contain potential fallout after casual conversation between volunteers and paid staff in internal chats threatened to leak, exposing the candidate's disgusting, arguably un-American, habit of eating the snack straight from the box (blech!). An emergency meeting was called by campaign higher-ups - encouraged, unnamed sources speculate, by high dollar donors worried that the campaign would be mortally wounded by the revelations. Mr. Buttigieg, in unusually emotionally laden language, admitted that he did in fact eat cold Pop Tarts but in what some have said may have been an attempt at testing out potential talking points if the campaign were to be confronted on the issue, he claimed it only began during his deployment to Afghanistan as an intelligence officer."
