I like the revised version breh, it sounds a lil smoother too. I would extend the intro a lil bit to build it up so when the actual beat drops, it enhances the whole gothic/trap sounding vibe you created. You got something ill breh. Just add more structure to it. Like try to formulate the beat like it was an actual song. Like let certain sounds play through while others stop and then come back in. Get a lil more creative with it. You doing that already in way, so keep building off that.
The 2nd beat you got is okay, it's not seeing the 1st one cuz It's a lil choppy sounding and isn't as smooth as the 1st one, but you saw how you had it change up a lil in the middle, That's what I'm talking about as far as the 1st beat, just make sure it flow seamlessly. It doesn't have to change all of a sudden at once, but slight tweaks here and there to show how it progresses.
Keep doing ya thing fam. I'm feeling that vibe. I never heard some shyt like that before and it had me like woah this dude on to something, so I just wanted it to sound as good as possible cuz you might have created a new lane for yourself. Thanks for listening to my tracks too breh. Appreciate it.