I'll die on this hill, but fruit is fine the way it is.
You don't need a candied apple.
Just eat a fukkin apple.
Candied yams? Not a fruit but what the hell are you even doing? Just eat the yams. They're already delicious.
Banana bread? Kill yourself.
Now here's where I lose people.
Pies.
Pies are a goddamn abomination.
Whatever pie you can think of making...the fruit is better naturally.
If you disagree, you're a sinner and you need to repent for poisoning nature's candy.
You don't need a candied apple.
Just eat a fukkin apple.
Candied yams? Not a fruit but what the hell are you even doing? Just eat the yams. They're already delicious.
Banana bread? Kill yourself.
Now here's where I lose people.
Pies.
Pies are a goddamn abomination.
Whatever pie you can think of making...the fruit is better naturally.
If you disagree, you're a sinner and you need to repent for poisoning nature's candy.