Disclaimer: This is not my account. My friend helped me post from her account. Posting the story as I want unbiased opinions. The names are changed to hide their identity.
I (30f) am getting married to Roy (31m). We met in college and hit it off right away. He's handsome, charming, smart and supportive. We fell in love and planned our entire future together. We planned where to live, how many kids to have, vacations, college fund for children, retirement, etc. I love him so much! He's my soulmate and my bestfriend.
He would tell me he's proud of me whenever I achieved something. He's super supportive of my dreams and ambitions. He'd motivate me to take up projects which I was hesitant to. He'd reassure me that I'm capable and talented enough. He'd complement me everytime I got dressed to go out and tell me how lucky he was to have me as his GF.
Roy's father passed away when he was just 8 years old and his elder sister Kim (33f) was 10. His mother, Yami (55f) never remarried. She's a very kind and sweet lady. I never got to know Kim as she lived in a different city for work and rarely visit us.
We got engaged 8 months ago in an engagement ceremony (In my country, the to be bride and groom get engaged in a ceremony among family and close friends). Kim moved back to our city and found a job here. This is when things started to get complicated. It's customary here for the girl's parents to pay for the wedding. My dad hired a wedding planner and told me to plan the wedding with them to my and Roy's liking.
When we started the planning process, my future MIL stayed out of it but Kim would tag along with us wherever we went. To the florist, to the wedding planner's office, to the caterers, everywhere! I wanted it to be just me and Roy. I told him that I didn't like future SIL third wheeling something just the both of us must've been doing together. He told me that Kim just wanted to be involved in her brother's wedding and I shouldn't be more welcoming of her.
I would've actually been okay with it if she'd keep her mouth shut and not give us her "valuable input". When I choose flowers, it would be "too pastel, choose a different colour palette". When I would suggest the chair arrangement to the planner, she'd be like "that won't give a proper view to the guests on the far left". I wanted to have coconut pudding at my wedding. It was my absolute favourite dessert growing up and I wanted to share it with my guests on my wedding day but guess what "No. Not coconut. I'm allergic."
The thing that pisses me off the most is that Roy always takes her side when it's my choice versus her choice. He wouldn't fight or anything. He'd be like "It doesn't matter which flower it's going to be as long as it's you who's my bride. Let it go babe, it's not a huge deal. Only thing that's important is that we're marrying each other and starting a new lofe together"
When the Coconut pudding thing happened, he asked me not to be selfish as it's not just about me and it's about both of us and our families.He said, Kim is family and I cannot exclude her from having the food at our wedding. I was really frustrated at this point. It's as if we're planning Kim's wedding and not mine. The final straw was when we were shopping wedding dresses (Wedding wear would be an appropriate word as it is our traditional clothing), my mom picked out this beautiful green dress for me and I loved it so much! But Kim had to poke her nose here as well. She told me that green isn't my colour and I should try something else. Roy agreed with her. Then I tried different dresses and finally decided on a rose gold dress that I liked too (but not as much as the green one). We then started to shop for the families of the bride and the groom. When it was Kim's turn, I KID YOU NOT, this b*tch picks out the same green dress and decides she's gonna buy it! I lost it! I didn't wanna make a scene there so I walked out.
I and Roy had a huge fight about this at home. He told me that green wasn't going well with my skin tone and that it suits Kim better, that I should stop acting so immature, that Kim picked that dress after I'd already picked out mine. I couldn't believe my ears. For the first time since we started planning our wedding, I noticed how he's always taken Kim's side and never mine. I couldn't believe that the man I was looking at was the same man I fell in love with.
Roy and Kim shared a strong bond due to losing their father so young. They were each other's bestfriends and support system growing up. But that doesn't justify him taking her side when it's our wedding and our vision. Back in college when we were dating, he'd brag about his sister to anyone he could, even if that person was complementing me. Like, if someone complemented the taste of the coffee I made, he'd be like "If you think this is delicious, then you must try the coffee my sister makes" etc. It was annoying but wasn't a big deal and I let it go as I knew he was really close to her. But this time I cannot let go. It's OUR wedding! Not Kim's wedding.
I yelled at him that if this wedding is happening, then it's happening like we both envisioned it or it's not happening at all. Roy got mad at me and yelled that I was just jealous of his sister as I can never be as good as her. That I am a bitter person for holding a grudge against Kim even though she's been nothing but kind to me. That she was just trying to help etc.
I don't hold any grudge against her. I just want to have my dream wedding. AITAH?
