Marriage Idolization
- Thread starter DanniC
- Start date
Aceofspades404
Superstar
It’s not a one size fits all. I look at marriage, well a healthy one as a foundation to the start of a family and a precursor to having a stabilized environment for well-adjusted black children.
I don’t think marriage is the problem. I think it’s the people who project their ignorant mental issues onto the institution that are problematic.Do you think people idolize marriage because they don’t know what it really entails?
you don't think marriage, at least in its origins/history (in the Western context) isn't itself a least a little bit problematic?
I think the West co-opted the concept of marriage and fukked it up. The East did too in a lot of Asian cultures. I totally agree with u there. But the idea of a man and a woman getting together, showing self-restraint in restricting themselves from multiple sexual partners to focus on raising their progeny for strong multi-generational family units for improved quality of life, has been around sense b4 the white concept of written history and civilization.
A lot of researchers have discovered stuff that points to our earliest ancestors actually having very healthy egalitarian marriages in ancient civilizations. Apparently the advent of mass agriculture and the ability to stock surplus is thought to have led to the more toxic dysfunctional male/female dynamics we see today. Then male oriented religions played a huge role in codifying these ideas as well as suppressing any presence of female leadership in the past world.
So we as human beings have been working through all of these problematic dynamics along with a host of other issues undergirding them like white supremacy, greed and class warfare.
All that aside I think men and women are supposed to work together and learn from one another, NOT be pitted against each other but there’s a lot that is going down b4 any of that happens. We literally watching our generations deconstruct centuries of centuries of lies, misconceptions, abuses of power, inequities, and oppressive regimes...within the context of the age of technology. Many don’t want to let go to even imagine a new paradigm out of fear and will kill, lie, steal, to keep it in place...but it isn’t healthy.
Until we find equilibrium, we will continue to go to extremes trying to correct the imbalance.
so do you think marriage has its origin in religion, economics, or contract law etc.?
As an institution yes...as a practice no.
It’s like the concept of breakfast. People been breaking fasts since forever. But if I came thru and applied a bunch of rituals to the practice, relegated one group practicing as inferior to the other, required fees and money associated with it...I’ve b*stardized the practice by creating a bunch of institutional nonsense around it that really doesn’t benefit anybody but a few people.
this makes sense.
studying law and history, and being formerly jaded but in a relationship now, this is something i've been personally struggling with: what does marriage mean to me and why should we do it, and what does it mean in our current society?
I told my mom that if I got married I wouldn’t mind skipping the big wedding.
Like seriously, shyt like that is totally unnecessary and really expensive. I’d rather have a gathering with all my friends and family at our new crib. There’s so much ego and senselessness in the institution that takes away from the simple concept of a man and a woman actually liking one another and wanting to walk thru life together.
That’s it. That’s all it is.
But we have completely fukked it up. As humans we can be so stupid sometimes.
Kuwka_Atcha_Ratcha
Superstar
Shocking people still believe in msrriage in 2019
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
If women stop idolizing marriage or just having a man like it's the end all be all they'd be so much happier.
Most of the women in relationships I know are miserable or stressed out. Always complaining or worried about what he is doing. It makes no sense.
People should be in a relationship because it adds value to your life. People in relationships just to say they're not alone. shyt weird to me.
Most of the women in relationships I know are miserable or stressed out. Always complaining or worried about what he is doing. It makes no sense.
People should be in a relationship because it adds value to your life. People in relationships just to say they're not alone. shyt weird to me.
So so true.
Many years ago i met this chick on PlentyOfFish. She was cool overall. She was Haitian like me. Exellent cook. Was a recent law-school graduate and had just passed the bar exam. Basically she had a lot going for herself. So we went on a couple of dates and as we were talking one day she told me about how abusive her previous boyfriend was. Yet she stayed with him for many years.
I'm like "Why do you stay with a dude like that?"
and her response was: "Well it was either that or be single.I didnt wanna be single." Had me like ... 
That shyt made be better understand how some women think. shyt was sad, really. It's like she doesnt feel like she's complete without a boyfriend or husband.
Anyway , tho she was down we never actually fukked and ended up losing contact since that was the year i was living in Costa Rica and was rarely in the U.S. One evening in (i wanna say) 2015 at a Haitian gala/concert (think Carimi was the headliner) and we ran into each other at the bar while i was getting my date a drink. She said hey and we hugged and talked. Asked me if i was still single blah blah blah and made sure to flaunt her engagement ring telling me she was now engaged.
I'm like "Oh wow! Congratulations!"
Then almost 2 hours later as me and my date were at the bar again, there she was with her hubby and she made sure to go out of her way to come all the way across the bar to introduce me to her fiancée. Breh seemed like a cool dude. He was an AA breh from Alabama or something. My date asked me who that was and i told her we went out together once.
To me a woman like that who has her own law practice (she handles immigration law cases) and is thriving shouldnt have these types of insecurities. But the truth is many do. They feel like a man completes them.
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So so true.
Many years ago i met this chick on PlentyOfFish. She was cool overall. She was Haitian like me. Exellent cook. Was a recent law-school graduate and had just passed the bar exam. Basically she had a lot going for herself. So we went on a couple of dates and as we were talking one day she told me about how abusive her previous boyfriend was. Yet she stayed with him for many years.
I'm like "Why do you stay with a dude like that?"
That shyt made be better understand how some women think. shyt was sad, really. It's like she doesnt feel like she's complete without a boyfriend or husband.
Anyway , tho she was down we never actually fukked and ended up losing contact since that was the year i was living in Costa Rica and was rarely in the U.S. One evening in (i wanna say) 2015 at a Haitian gala/concert (think Carimi was the headliner) and we ran into each other at the bar while i was getting my date a drink. She said hey and we hugged and talked. Asked me if i was still single blah blah blah and made sure to flaunt her engagement ring telling me she was now engaged.
I'm like "Oh wow! Congratulations!"
Then almost 2 hours later as me and my date were at the bar again, there she was with her hubby and she made sure to go out of her way to come all the way across the bar to introduce me to her fiancée. Breh seemed like a cool dude. He was an AA breh from Alabama or something. My date asked me who that was and i told her we went out together once.
To me a woman like that who has her own law practice (she handles immigration law cases) and is thriving shouldnt have these types of insecurities. But the truth is many do. They feel like a man completes them.
Those are the worst ones especially when they don't keep up with themselves. Then they turn into huge balls of desperation.
So so true.
Many years ago i met this chick on PlentyOfFish. She was cool overall. She was Haitian like me. Exellent cook. Was a recent law-school graduate and had just passed the bar exam. Basically she had a lot going for herself. So we went on a couple of dates and as we were talking one day she told me about how abusive her previous boyfriend was. Yet she stayed with him for many years.
I'm like "Why do you stay with a dude like that?"
That shyt made be better understand how some women think. shyt was sad, really. It's like she doesnt feel like she's complete without a boyfriend or husband.
Anyway , tho she was down we never actually fukked and ended up losing contact since that was the year i was living in Costa Rica and was rarely in the U.S. One evening in (i wanna say) 2015 at a Haitian gala/concert (think Carimi was the headliner) and we ran into each other at the bar while i was getting my date a drink. She said hey and we hugged and talked. Asked me if i was still single blah blah blah and made sure to flaunt her engagement ring telling me she was now engaged.
I'm like "Oh wow! Congratulations!"
Then almost 2 hours later as me and my date were at the bar again, there she was with her hubby and she made sure to go out of her way to come all the way across the bar to introduce me to her fiancée. Breh seemed like a cool dude. He was an AA breh from Alabama or something. My date asked me who that was and i told her we went out together once.
To me a woman like that who has her own law practice (she handles immigration law cases) and is thriving shouldnt have these types of insecurities. But the truth is many do. They feel like a man completes them.
