GPBear
The Tape Crusader
We're having a heatwave, it was like 90-something today, so I'm sitting out on my porch around 11 smoking weed when all of a sudden I see some dude stumble across the street. There's a sketchy motel there and I've had drunks and junkies roll up asking to borrow my phone or other stupid shyt. Anyways, the guy comes on my lawn and is wearing the t-shirt of the bbq food truck in town. It's an African-American breh. He's drunk. Asks if I know an address, just gives me some random 4-digit number. I ask for the cross street, he's like "
lemme check my phone." reaches into his pocket.... "Ah shyt it's dead." Then he starts talking about "I fukked up. 
"
Proceeds to tell me about how his girl brought another man back to their house.
I'm still kinda processing all of this, "So like, you need a cab or something?".
"... yeah."
As I'm about to go inside to call the cab, he leans in front of my house and sees the BLM sign.
He says, "Black Lives Matter?
"
"Yeah" I said.
"ALL Lives matter.
" He said. I was shook. The curveballs. 
I went inside and called the cab.
I come back out. He's half-sobbing.
The first thing he says when I come back out is,
"I... I need you to give me a place to live.
"
Keep in mind, I've never met the breh.
"... I cannot do that. There is a motel across the street though
"
I proceed to spend 10 minutes waiting for the cab to show up trying to console him somehow as he repeatedly cries "I've never been homeless a day in my life."
All I could say is, "Hey man, you make good bbq. Nobody can take that away from you."
This all happened like five minutes ago.
Insert obligatory negged cac here.
tl;dr: some breh's wife brought home another man, he came up on my porch asking for a ride/place to live, then when I least suspected, he hit me with an "all lives matter."
lemme check my phone." reaches into his pocket.... "Ah shyt it's dead." Then he starts talking about "I fukked up. "Proceeds to tell me about how his girl brought another man back to their house.
I'm still kinda processing all of this, "So like, you need a cab or something?".
"... yeah."
As I'm about to go inside to call the cab, he leans in front of my house and sees the BLM sign.
He says, "Black Lives Matter?
""Yeah" I said.
"ALL Lives matter.
" He said. I was shook. The curveballs. I went inside and called the cab.
I come back out. He's half-sobbing.
The first thing he says when I come back out is,
"I... I need you to give me a place to live.
"Keep in mind, I've never met the breh.
"... I cannot do that. There is a motel across the street though
"I proceed to spend 10 minutes waiting for the cab to show up trying to console him somehow as he repeatedly cries "I've never been homeless a day in my life."
All I could say is, "Hey man, you make good bbq. Nobody can take that away from you."
This all happened like five minutes ago.
Insert obligatory negged cac here.
tl;dr: some breh's wife brought home another man, he came up on my porch asking for a ride/place to live, then when I least suspected, he hit me with an "all lives matter."