Reginald Noble
Banned
My Father is now having to declare bankruptcy for the 2nd time in his life, about 14 years after his last bankruptcy.
It is mainly sourced from fighting back and forth with my step-mother for custody of my half sister when she was underage. He has had to appear multiple times in court or have his lawyer appear which all costs money and the mother doesn't even have to be present. There have also been mounting legal fees in him trying to divorce my step mother. Again, the Woman usually pays nothing even if she doesn't show up in court. It costs extensive amounts of money to get a one-sided divorce.
The legal fees ended up amounting to be about 15-20k or more in the past 7 years. Now I am not saying feel sorry for him, because the entire family told him this Woman was no good. She already had a child, but obviously so did my Father so he ignored that. But the red flag he ignored was the Father of her child was a maniac, and so was her Mother. Mental illness runs in my Step Mother's family. Her son and I got along and he was like an older bro to me. But she was a nutcase. Either way, my sister similar to me was planned and not an accident. He went into this situation understanding the risks.
My father's experience and the pain he has gone through (but in part, put himself through) is why I have my perspective on life of vigilance. My sister is now 18 and she moved out so he can stop paying child support, but the damage is done nonetheless. He is 52 and wanted to retire, but will have to work another 5-7 years to pay back these pension loans.
The stress, legal costs associated with being with the wrong Black American Woman can easily kill a Black Man. This risk comes with any Women, but the risk is highest when dealing with Women born in our community. Luckily as a city worker his healthcare plan is good and he has been cutting down on the drinking and ensuring he takes his meds daily.
I keep telling him to convert to Foreign Women (who have been properly vetted, screened and back ground checked) but he's old school and stubborn. He says he met a new Woman who is a school teacher. Back then in the 80's or even 90's you think school teacher and would never think ratchet. Well nowadays 1/2 of them are on some bullshyt so I said keep your eyes open and don't be fooled.
All I can do is continue to learn from my Father's mistakes. He, like many American Men wanted a perfect nuclear family unit. What he got was stress, legal problems and a broken family. He understands he still has me, but I will probably never understand the pain of being alienated from my daughter unless I have one myself.
It is mainly sourced from fighting back and forth with my step-mother for custody of my half sister when she was underage. He has had to appear multiple times in court or have his lawyer appear which all costs money and the mother doesn't even have to be present. There have also been mounting legal fees in him trying to divorce my step mother. Again, the Woman usually pays nothing even if she doesn't show up in court. It costs extensive amounts of money to get a one-sided divorce.
The legal fees ended up amounting to be about 15-20k or more in the past 7 years. Now I am not saying feel sorry for him, because the entire family told him this Woman was no good. She already had a child, but obviously so did my Father so he ignored that. But the red flag he ignored was the Father of her child was a maniac, and so was her Mother. Mental illness runs in my Step Mother's family. Her son and I got along and he was like an older bro to me. But she was a nutcase. Either way, my sister similar to me was planned and not an accident. He went into this situation understanding the risks.
My father's experience and the pain he has gone through (but in part, put himself through) is why I have my perspective on life of vigilance. My sister is now 18 and she moved out so he can stop paying child support, but the damage is done nonetheless. He is 52 and wanted to retire, but will have to work another 5-7 years to pay back these pension loans.
The stress, legal costs associated with being with the wrong Black American Woman can easily kill a Black Man. This risk comes with any Women, but the risk is highest when dealing with Women born in our community. Luckily as a city worker his healthcare plan is good and he has been cutting down on the drinking and ensuring he takes his meds daily.
I keep telling him to convert to Foreign Women (who have been properly vetted, screened and back ground checked) but he's old school and stubborn. He says he met a new Woman who is a school teacher. Back then in the 80's or even 90's you think school teacher and would never think ratchet. Well nowadays 1/2 of them are on some bullshyt so I said keep your eyes open and don't be fooled.
All I can do is continue to learn from my Father's mistakes. He, like many American Men wanted a perfect nuclear family unit. What he got was stress, legal problems and a broken family. He understands he still has me, but I will probably never understand the pain of being alienated from my daughter unless I have one myself.
