I had to share...You ever seen a group of white people that haven’t found themselves yet and they got that one black guy who kinda runs the crew or validates them(in their mind)?
I ran into an old friend(white chick)who was part of such a group in San Diego this weekend...
Group makeup was 3 bytches 1 fat bytch 1 nikka and 2 white dudes
I watched them for a while peeping how this nikka was moving.
Everything he had on was at least one size too big, but that didn't stop him from talking loud, asserting his “dominance” over the white dudes and basically being “the man”.
This was clearly “his party”.
I waited about 20 minutes till he went to the restroom to go over and say hi.
It went exactly as expected hugs of joy from ol girl, handshakes all around. Told her fat friend her heels were sexy etc.
Then he came back... we made eye contact and I could immediately see his soul...
I got the next round of drinks and took control of the conversation with lots of blatant
into nowhere that landed squarely in his heart. I even through some lifelines out to see if he was gonna sit down and accept what it was, and it seemed like he was gonna accept it.until the girl he must of been crushing on(who likely has no idea he wants her) began giving me the
face, this lame nikka who had gone completely silent got the balls to engage and size me up.
Keeping a straight face when he began pumping himself up was difficult cause I already knew what his life like, and knew how this was gonna go...
One of the white dudes already told me when he introduced himself he works with dude at Home Depot. He also colorfully described how shytty it was.
After some cocky remarks from him bout some dumb shyt that shouldn’t matter to a grown man filled with lots of "remembers?" and "right?" to get support.( I can’t even remember what it was) I was like
so what do you do?He began stumbling and came up with
“well I’m at Home Depot right now while I finish up code academy”
Homeboy who works with him was like
After saying that he stared at his mai tai(what kinda man orders a mai tai at a bar) like
I didn’t press him tho… that wasn't what I came over for...Me: oh that’s cool... how’s coding coming along?
Him: Good
Me: What language you learning?
Him: HTML
Me:
Me: Oh that's what's up, what do you wanna do? Some kind of web development?
Him: *with all the base gone from his voice* I don’t know yet
Me:
The bytches:
The fat bytch:
The white dudes:
Him:
Young bish he crushing:
what do you do?Me:
I’m a quality supervisor for ChevronLadies:
Young Bish: that’s impressive
what do you do exactly?His soul:
We talked about my job for a bit then I invited them all whale watching the next day.
They all showed up but him.
Ima start vloging my nights out. shyt is mad funny.
Brehs that only like white chicks crack me up.
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