- Jake "The Snake" Roberts v. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. PLEASE let it be quick, that's all I ask. Jake is literally STAGGERING down the aisle on the way to the ring. He tosses Damien into the corner, then staggers back to the dressing room, takes his shirt off, and staggers back. Poor Neidhart has no idea what to make of the situation. Jake hits on a couple of ugly chicks in the front row, then rolls in and we're underway.
Anvil literally does all the work, physically carrying Jake through the "match" so he doesn't' fall over and puke all over the ring. Damien wriggles free of the bag, so Jake pulls him out and makes uses it as a surrogate penis, waving it around the ring while protuding from his crotch, pointing towards women in the front row. And there's KIDS in the audience, all over the place. I think Jake can finally kiss his wrestling career goodbye, for good this time. And now obviously someone in the back realizes this is getting out of hand, so King Kong Bundy comes out to run interference.
Anvil puts Jake in a long chinlock, and looks to be bytching him out while there. Jake goes for the DDT, but he can't get the spot quite right, so Bundy runs in for a 2-on-1. Yokozuna makes the save, and it's turned into a tag match. Jake takes a couple of chairshots from Neidhart to hopefully make him stay on the floor, but he rolls back in and Bundy gets a two- count. Jake hasn't even bothered to lace his boots, and when Neidhart pulls on his foot to stop a tag, the boot comes free. Jake makes the hot tag to Yoko, but about 2 seconds later Bundy splashes and pins Jake (the illegal man) for the pin to end the whole fiasco.
Jake and Yoko beat up Bundy's manager, and the show is hastily yanked from the air 15 minutes early without so much as a goodbye from the announce team. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your Worst Match of the Year, hands down. -***** I suppose it would be harsh of me to wish Jake would just choke on his own vomit one night and spare us all ever watching him ruin his life or the lives of the people that care about him ever again, but at the rate he's going he's probably not far off.
The Bottom Line: You may have noticed that we didn't get the advertised main event, or even Yokozuna or Bundy wrestling for more than 5 seconds each. Leave it to Jake to ruin an entire show for everyone. Not that there was much there to ruin. Easily the worst PPV I've ever seen, and that includes a lot. I don't know how these morons got a PPV deal in the first place, but since the buyrate is likely to be somewhere between 0.00000005 and 0.1 (if they're lucky) I doubt we'll have to worry about seeing this abortion stink up our TV screens ever again.
miz fans can dream of a feud between him and dean douglas
