The Half-Blood FKA Prince
Avada Kedavbreh!
Gotta play the long game. Chess>checkers. When a baby is involved its no game at all but at the same time we can not afford to lose.
if that makes any sense.
I've decided I'm not signing the birth certificate. What now? (I gave up...)
- Thread starter Fiji Water
- Start date
if that makes any sense.
Fiji Water
Every moment is an opportunity
I don't want to but I can't deal with the way this woman's acting. I don't know what to do besides just cut out all contact and take a DNA test if the court orders one.Be a deadbeat brehs...
I'd get the non invasive test now but I don't have the extra 1-2k to spend on that
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
I just went through an ugly ass custody battle with my bitter ass ex wife. A lot of these nikkas advice in here is setting you up for failure bruh. Real talk you need to talk to an EXPERIENCED lawyer, not the coli.
No doubt a lawyer is the right move - and you will lose your retirement savings doing so. Such a painful lesson - however , the initial dna test and establishing paternity you do not need a lawyer and shouldn’t wait or pay for him to tell you this . Jmo
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
He'd still be better off having a lawyer the entire time... at least if he wants to be in the childs life and something tells me if he is making a thread seeking advice about it he will want to be in the childs life. So yeah OP get an attorney ASAP and come up with a gameplan.
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
OP man to man as someone with experience in this same type of situation when it comes to family court let me give you advice on a personal level.
I'm going to save you a lot of pain later by just telling you the truth now. Unless you can prove that she is a completely unfit mother, your aren't going to win custody of a child that young over it's mother. It just isn't happening, at that age even 50/50 is a massive reach. If the child was elementary school age I'd say 50/50 would be very possible, a newborn it isn't gonna happen. It doesn't matter how much of a bytch she is, THE COURTS WILL NOT CARE. Even if you got 50/50 somehow they are still going to probably order you to pay some form of child support. That's just what they do to men, we get punished even if we did nothing wrong. This country hates and disrespects men, family court is the perfect place where it is on full display for you to see, you will get a reality check in that bytch.
As a man in family court you MUST PLAY THE LONG GAME. I hate to tell you this, but you are in a marathon. Your best bet is to resign yourself to paying child support, fight for your rights UPFRONT now, do not wait if you wait it will be even harder down the road, and DO NOT DO ANY THING BEYOND WHAT THE COURT ORDERS YOU TO DO(this is the most important thing a lot of men seem to not grasp, they let women make it hard on them instead of making it hard on the woman and that is why they never get custody).
If you have any other questions I can answer them, based off my own personal experience with this process. Just know this EVERYONES SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. You will be disappointed thinking your situation will be like everyone elses situation, because it won't be they are all unique.
I'm going to save you a lot of pain later by just telling you the truth now. Unless you can prove that she is a completely unfit mother, your aren't going to win custody of a child that young over it's mother. It just isn't happening, at that age even 50/50 is a massive reach. If the child was elementary school age I'd say 50/50 would be very possible, a newborn it isn't gonna happen. It doesn't matter how much of a bytch she is, THE COURTS WILL NOT CARE. Even if you got 50/50 somehow they are still going to probably order you to pay some form of child support. That's just what they do to men, we get punished even if we did nothing wrong. This country hates and disrespects men, family court is the perfect place where it is on full display for you to see, you will get a reality check in that bytch.
As a man in family court you MUST PLAY THE LONG GAME. I hate to tell you this, but you are in a marathon. Your best bet is to resign yourself to paying child support, fight for your rights UPFRONT now, do not wait if you wait it will be even harder down the road, and DO NOT DO ANY THING BEYOND WHAT THE COURT ORDERS YOU TO DO(this is the most important thing a lot of men seem to not grasp, they let women make it hard on them instead of making it hard on the woman and that is why they never get custody).
If you have any other questions I can answer them, based off my own personal experience with this process. Just know this EVERYONES SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. You will be disappointed thinking your situation will be like everyone elses situation, because it won't be they are all unique.
the bossman
Superstar
If it's his? Hell no.fuvk is wrong with some yall
I see what you saying now. Better to keep emotions in check and play long game. Your pride and ego can get you fukked in this kind of situation. OP needs to save up the bread to get that prebirth paternity test done asap before making any other reckless decisions
this is exactly what I was saying just not as nicely.
Listen to this man. Don't think she's gonna pop out a baby (especially if she's breast feeding) and think any court is going to give you custody. I would spend that time establishing paternity and documenting. The only area I disagree with Dallas is when to get a lawyer. I would save the money (then again I have a different kind of experience and am the guy that goes pro se on everything I do - even car accidents and suing insurance companies). I would get the lawyer involved once you collected enough evidence and if she's still acting shady. It's real easy to establish paternity and serving her too early will make her get a lawyer and she may not fall into those same traps (ultimately that may be a good thing if she straightens up her act).
again JMO - Dallas isn't wrong just two different views on when to get a lawyer but we are talking about getting to the same outcome - which isn't necessarily about you getting majority of the time but for you to be in the childs life reasonably (which is at least 50/50 when she's at like 2 or 3) and you not having to stress about the what the mom is doing.
Also financially - this is where I can see DAllas point - because if she's been working and stops when she has the kid - establishing her financial disclosures asap may benefit you. But I'm all about giving her enough rope
Dallas' 4 Eva
Superstar
I did all this bro. I had over 100+ pages of text message evidence against my ex wife, she literally said word for word she will not peacefully coparent. She literally broke the temporary court order every single day. She stopped working, she stopped paying for child care, health care everything. She stopped listing me on his doctors paperwork, all of that. I even tried to get her drug tested. They still gave her custody and took my time away because of all her lies and shyt which she never showed ANY EVIDENCE OF. I'm telling you all that shyt will not work UNLESS you can somehow prove she is abusive or neglectful towards the child because of all of this.
His best bet is to play the long game and make her being a mother as absolutely hard on her as possible. Do not do shyt the court order doesn't say to do; whether it is in the best interest of your child or not. Don't keep the child more than you have to, and if she basically leaves the child with you when it isn't your time document it. Don't give her a red cent more than what the court says to give her, IT WILL NOT HELP YOU. You don't even have to spend time with the kid, just as long as the money is there you're good. She is the custodial parent, all of that is her responsibility, force her to be a mama and see how long she makes it. These women are evil and as hard as it may be to do you have to make her realize you can either make her life really easy or really hard. Sometimes you gotta give them exactly what they are asking for to make them realize how bad they fukked up.
I definitely see your point. What state were you in (shouldn't matter) but Im shocked you had evidence showing certain things and they ignored it ( or listened to her lies). Was a GAL assigned to investigate on behalf of the child?
i don't disagree with your 2nd paragraph. It's about the long game - stack the evidence and give her enough rope [to hang herself] . i.e. make her parent and stay on top of her.
I mean you gotta even petty such as if she drops her off late to you, you write her and literally tell her, you were 30 minutes late and her tardiness is impacting your schedule (on the flip side you need to be on time and/or communicate if you're late). You should over communicate but not give up unnecessary details.
@Dallas' 4 Eva sounds like you had a helluva issue in the court system , which is why I'd prefer to do the beginning myself. Too many stories like yours and then you're looking at your lawyer sideways and he's shrugging telling you, we will get them next time be patient. Hopefully you didn't have to pay her lawyer fees too - that's why I am all about waiting until you at least establish parentage but can see the flip side.
ThrobbingHood
Breh&Breh Associates™
My biggest fear was going to prison when I was younger. As an older man, it’s definitely now second to knocking up a no good wretch of a whore.
The mental and psychosocial torture I’ve seen men go through with their baby mamas is straight out of a horror movie. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
The mental and psychosocial torture I’ve seen men go through with their baby mamas is straight out of a horror movie. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
The Realist Perspective
Superstar
I’m an advocate for more men to be “deadbeat dads” when the woman is remotely like OPs situation. 
