It starts at home. (Parenting/ Passing Wisdom thread)

[CinnaSlim]

What are some parenting tips or advice to create examples of young pro-black excellence?

What bits of wisdom or traditions would you like to pass down to the black youth?

Any books, films or classics that you think should be mandatory materials in your child's life?

Growing up my mom had African statues, art, black dolls, films and music throughout our house. She stopped perming her hair and decided not to ever put a relaxer in my hair when she became pregnant.

She made me and my brothers watch Roots and the HBO special of celebrities reading slave narratives. She had bookcases full of black authors and took us outside of our hood to experience different environments, cultures and food. She never had to say "I love being black" everyday for us to know it was true.

 

[CinnaSlim]

One thing that I noticed growing up and will pass on is respect. Respect for self and others, especially your elders.

My mother stressed that she loved us but she was our mother and not our friend. We weren't allowed to talk to her or any other adult any sort of way without repercussions. We were children and had to know our place. Granted, I want my kids to feel comfortable coming to talk to me but of course while still being respectful.

Being able to express yourself in a respectful manner, and knowing to respect authority are important.

 

[Suicide King]

Self-control is #1 on my list. This will teach them to be practical and no nonsense.

Discipline is #2.


This is the difference between success and failure.

self-control (so they are not so wreckless and destructive)
discipline (so they can stay committed to goals)

 

[Kripplestyle]

One thing my mother did was make me aware of who I was ie she would sit me down and let me know I'm a proud and productive black child and to strive for what makes me happy and will benefit black people. I think that's a key thing, because when I reached situations where I was being alienated and picked on, what she said would be in my thoughts and I'd work harder to go beyond the bullies.

There's a shelf at home and this one book I think should be mandatory is The Black Holocaust. It's definitely suitable for pre teens.

Another thing I'm grateful for was my ma took me to museums and black history events, and would always buy a book from the places we went. Once we got home, she'd get me to read them and test me to see if I retained info and also get me to research. Instilling study habits are a must.

 

[Prynce]

It think playing a sport should be required in every household. That would encourage a healthy lifestyle and better eating habits in black children.
Also we should teach black children black history and about black cultures around the world. That would teach them to have a better appreciation for themselves and other blacks.
Growing up I was taught about slavery/Jim crow, but my parents and school made sure I knew that our history was greater then being slaves/second class citizens.
We also should teach our sons about great black women, which I believe will give them a greater respect for our sisters.

Also some small stuff that my mom did that had a great effect on me was that she would never buy me white toys and she encouraged me to have black heroes. So I Learned to identify myself with blackness at a early age. Small stuff like buying your daughter a white barbie seems insignificant but it has a large affect on how they view themselves.

My mom told me black was beautiful everyday and that had a great affect on me growing up.

 

[CinnaSlim]

One thing my mother did was make me aware of who I was ie she would sit me down and let me know I'm a proud and productive black child and to strive for what makes me happy and will benefit black people. I think that's a key thing, because when I reached situations where I was being alienated and picked on, what she said would be in my thoughts and I'd work harder to go beyond the bullies.

There's a shelf at home and this one book I think should be mandatory is The Black Holocaust. It's definitely suitable for pre teens.

Another thing I'm grateful for was my ma took me to museums and black history events, and would always buy a book from the places we went. Once we got home, she'd get me to read them and test me to see if I retained info and also get me to research. Instilling study habits are a must.

This reminds me of my mom. I wanted locs just like my mother when I was young. Between kindergarten and 1st grade I had short locs, I would get picked on. Even before that I stood out for not having a perm. My mother taught me to have pride in being an individual and being true to self. It's important to have pride and not follow the crowd.

 

[Kripplestyle]

This reminds me of my mom. I wanted locs just like my mother when I was young. Between kindergarten and 1st grade I had short locs, I would get picked on. Even before that I stood out for not having a perm. My mother taught me to have pride in being an individual and being true to self. It's important to have pride and not follow the crowd.

My ma also had a lot of positive black artwork up around the house and had black and beautiful slogan t shirts. Every black child needs positive reinforcement.

 

[Indiglow Meta (R$G)]

Tell a young'n to develop a good judgment of character as far as peers. That's SUPER important. A lot of kids can fool each other's parents...instill the inner strength in them to keep away from the manipulators of the world...or be one in a positive way.

 

[Suicide King]

It think playing a sport should be required in every household. That would encourage a healthy lifestyle and better eating habits in black children.

I wouldn't stop at sports, because sports can feel too much like play.

Let them deal with more practical stuff, it would show them problem solving skills are important and useful in succeeding.

I was always around people working on cars, doing construction on their house, and some outdoor stuff with the Devil Dogs/Boys and Girls club (I can imagine boy scouts can fit in nicely here).

Nothing else will come close to stimulating a young person's mind. There is no substitute for experience.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Teaching kids to do their own research also helps with problem solving skills.

I think the most important thing to do with children is to listen and realize that kids can also give you insight and teach you a thing or two. You have to respect their opinions and perspective. Show them the right way and trust that you raised them well enough that they will follow it.

My mom was great but that's where she messed up. She didn't know when to relinquish control and led to a lot of issues. She still sees me as a child in a lot of ways.

 

[Kripplestyle]

Teaching kids to do their own research also helps with problem solving skills.

I think the most important thing to do with children is to listen and realize that kids can also give you insight and teach you a thing or two. You have to respect their opinions and perspective. Show them the right way and trust that you raised them well enough that they will follow it.

My mom was great but that's where she messed up. She didn't know when to relinquish control and it leads to a lot of issues. She still sees me as a child in a lot of ways.

I couldn't agree with you more.

 

[Suicide King]

Teaching kids to do their own research also helps with problem solving skills.

I think the most important thing to do with children is to listen and realize that kids can also give you insight and teach you a thing or two. You have to respect their opinions and perspective. Show them the right way and trust that you raised them well enough that they will follow it.

My mom was great but that's where she messed up. She didn't know when to relinquish control and it leads to a lot of issues. She still sees me as a child in a lot of ways.

Be careful with this approach, you can respect their opinions and perspective when they are in high school, but when they are kids you better tell like it is or they will be confused like Will Smith's kids.

I've seen it too many times, that I would not recommend letting kids be "free spirits." Nurture them to be able to take what's relevant to them and explore, but don't let them descend into some esoteric hodgepodge that's ends up leaving them in a haze of confusion.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Be careful with this approach, you can respect their opinions and perspective when they are in high school, but when they are kids you better tell like it is or they will confused like Will Smith's kids.

I've seen it too many times, that I would not recommend letting kids be "free spirits." Nurture them to be able to take what's relevant to them and explore, but don't let them descend into some esoteric hodgepodge that's ends up leaving them in haze of confusion.

Everything in moderation. But of course, kids that age are still being raised. I know some people who let their kids raise themselves.

My aunt let's her little boys run around climbing and jumping off furniture but if you say something to them she'll tell you, "Leave them alone, that's what they do".

They do that because you let em

 

[Blackking]

We are on my daughter heavy about self respect.

Luckily she doesn't have the self esteem issues. ... real lucky because she's dark skin.... with 3 LIGHT and 1 medium siblings.

Also we made sure she's confident. For a Lil girl building them up is most important.

Also , more than her brothers we show her to be very clean, with a neat room and organized. Teach her how to sit, etc. She's light years beyond other girls she socializes with.

Culturally. ....we teach her to love and support the family. So that when she has a husband she is nice and caters. She is the main one we have do domestic shyt.

Her brothers know How to do shyt, but we don't have them do things. We let them wrestle, fight N shyt. I make them do hard to do shyt outside.

 

[Blackking]

For boys I'd say just figure out who they are and work around it.