Is Chemistry Stronger Than Physical Attraction?

[notwhoiusedtobe]

Or do you consider them one in the same? Do you think there's such a thing as chemistry at all?


I don't consider myself a very shallow person. I see a lot of people I would objectively consider good looking, but rarely ever feel any attraction to them. And I don't really like when people are attracted to me based on looks. Almost two years ago I ran into this woman at a workshop I was taking (and ended up leaving). There wasn't anything I noticed about the way she looked at all, but after every encounter I was like

Of course, with my luck, she ended up becoming friends with my mother. The more I heard her talk about her the more intrigued I was. It got so bad I asked my momma to feed me info on her

She was like "well she's probably in her early 40sand I think she may bebut go for it"



So I pretty much forgot about herexcept when she pops on Facebook friend suggestions
But what's that about, feeling a connection like that? Is it chemistry? Is it voodoo? I mean, how does attraction work for you? Has anyone else been in a similar position? What did you do about it?

 

[bcrusaderw]

Is that you in your avi?

 

[notwhoiusedtobe]

Is that you in your avi?

Yes

 

[bcrusaderw]

Yes

 

[notwhoiusedtobe]

But this thread is about not being shallow Don't make me call @Michael9100 on you

 

[CinnaSlim]

Chemistry is most attractive to me. I ended up hooked on a lightskin blasian because of a mix of chemistry and good D. Gave me an appreciation for teddy bears.

Chemistry will have me overlooking certain physical traits because I enjoy spending time with that person and that is where most of the value lies.

 

[notwhoiusedtobe]

Chemistry is most attractive to me. I ended up hooked on a lightskin blasian because of a mix of chemistry and good D. Gave me an appreciation for teddy bears.

Chemistry will have me overlooking certain physical traits because I enjoy spending time with that person and that is where most of the value lies.

Do you generally have a type that you look for or are attracted to? And did you feel a vibe before you first met or did you just hit it off after the fact?

 

[Darts]

Or do you consider them one in the same? Do you think there's such a thing as chemistry at all?


I don't consider myself a very shallow person. I see a lot of people I would objectively consider good looking, but rarely ever feel any attraction to them. And I don't really like when people are attracted to me based on looks. Almost two years ago I ran into this woman at a workshop I was taking (and ended up leaving). There wasn't anything I noticed about the way she looked at all, but after every encounter I was like

Of course, with my luck, she ended up becoming friends with my mother. The more I heard her talk about her the more intrigued I was. It got so bad I asked my momma to feed me info on her

She was like "well she's probably in her early 40sand I think she may bebut go for it"



So I pretty much forgot about herexcept when she pops on Facebook friend suggestions
But what's that about, feeling a connection like that? Is it chemistry? Is it voodoo? I mean, how does attraction work for you? Has anyone else been in a similar position? What did you do about it?

You're attracted to 40 year old women lol? How old are you?

For me personally, there has to be a lot of physical attraction. I've been in situations where me and a girl click really well, but she doesn't do it for me at all on a physical level (either too fat or too skinny). Perhaps this sort of thing is different for men tho.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Do you generally have a type that you look for or are attracted to? And did you feel a vibe before you first met or did you just hit it off after the fact?

I love #midnightboyz with nice smiles. I love fit bodies, chinky eyes. I like girls with short cuts, I like men with hair.

But who I end up with is always different than "my type". I need someone who can hold a conversation, has a positive attitude, is aggressive/assertive with how he shows interest in me and affectionate. These things are more important and if I find someone with those traits as long as the look good in general, it's a go. I just can't be with someone I have no attraction to.

 

[notwhoiusedtobe]

X

 

[Darts]

She's a black womanshe doesn't look like she's in her 40s (neither does my mother, for that matter). I legit had no idea how old she was. It wasn't until she told this story about going to her high school prom in 1994 (I was 8/9 years old in 94 ) that it became clear. Physically she's pretty small/toned/short and not very curvy (actually, let me amend that, she has a nice ass/slight hips but she's a member of the IBTC). She's a dancer. On paper her physical isn't that appealing to me...I showed my cousin a video I filmed of/for her and he spent the whole time pointing out her flaws and thin lips and even still I was like

There are things I like objectively, like I'm sure you do, full lips, hips, etc. but they're not dealbreakers. Maybe it is a little different with men.

Black don't crack, so that makes sense...but for some reason I thought you were talking about a 40 year old white woman . Women regardless of sexuality do seem to place less emphasis on physical traits compared to men...that's interesting.

 

[notwhoiusedtobe]

Black don't crack, so that makes sense...but for some reason I thought you were talking about a 40 year old white woman . Women regardless of sexuality do seem to place less emphasis on physical traits compared to men...that's interesting.

 

[ThiefyPoo]

Looks to get my attention chemistry to keep me interested .

 

[bcrusaderw]

She's a black womanshe doesn't look like she's in her 40s (neither does my mother, for that matter). I legit had no idea how old she was. It wasn't until she told this story about going to her high school prom in 1994 (I was 8/9 years old in 94 ) that it became clear. Physically she's pretty small/toned/short and not very curvy (actually, let me amend that, she has a nice ass/slight hips but she's a member of the IBTC). She's a dancer. On paper her physical isn't that appealing to me...I showed my cousin a video I filmed of/for her and he spent the whole time pointing out her flaws and thin lips and even still I was like

There are things I like objectively, like I'm sure you do, full lips, hips, etc. but they're not dealbreakers. Maybe it is a little different with men.

You're 30? How? You look 19. Dat melanin.

 

[M'gann]

Looks only take you so far with me.