Instant desire vs. gradual attraction

[Draje]

Can some of you girls explain to me how y'all think this shyt is anything but a backhanded compliment?

Telling a dude you weren't really sexually attracted to him when you first saw him but he became more attractive the more you interacted with him isn't a compliment

How girls treat dudes they have a primal, instinctual sexual attraction to is entirely different than how y'all treat dudes who you "grow to be attracted" to.

Note: Yes, having both happen is ideal and the basis of stronger relationships but y'all act like the 2nd isn't insult

Would y'all really be ok if a man you were talking to was "I wasn't really physically attracted to you when I first saw you but then I got to know you and your personality made you appealing to me "

 

[VFib]

I've felt this way about a man but I wouldn't tell him that.

I also disagree with your treatment theory. I don't think timing of the attraction determines the level of treatment.

 

[Draje]

I've felt this way about a man but I wouldn't tell him that.

I also disagree with your treatment theory. I don't think timing of the attraction determines the level of treatment.

How a girl acts around a dude that got her panties soaked when she first saw him compared to how she reacts to a dude that ended up "working his way up" on his attractive scale due to personality and such is different.

And how would you feel if you found out your man/husband felt like that about you?

 

[Yo Mama]

I have never felt instant attraction.

But iys true a persons personality can make them appear more attractive.

It comes of as an insult bit its not.

 

[Draje]

I have never felt instant attraction.

But iys true a persons personality can make them appear more attractive.

It comes of as an insult bit its not.

Nah, it's totally an insult

Makes a negus feel settled for

A man who she felt a raw, primal attraction to and has a bomb personality > Man bomb personality that gradually upped her attraction levels to him

#averageganglost

 

[Yo Mama]

Some folks like myself are maybe incapable of this instant "primal lust".

I can see a man and acknowledge that he is attractive. But no lust no sexual desire. Lust would have to come after I interact and get to know the person.

If I ever meet the man who I feel this instant lust for then I guess I'd have to cheat on my hubby coz chances of that ever happening again are slim.lol.

Nah, it's totally an insult

Makes a negus feel settled for

A man who she felt a raw, primal attraction to and has a bomb personality > Man bomb personality that gradually upped her attraction levels to him

#averageganglost

 

[VFib]

How a girl acts around a dude that got her panties soaked when she first saw him compared to how she reacts to a dude that ended up "working his way up" on his attractive scale due to personality and such is different.

And how would you feel if you found out your man/husband felt like that about you?

Would you have felt that you were being treated differently had she not told you the truth?

 

[Lady.Libra.]

I've never grown attracted to a man: either I felt it immediately or I didn't.

With that said, I think telling someone that is in poor taste. OTOH, don't ask questions you don't want [true] answers to either.

BTW, levels of attraction & love increase and decrease all the time in relationships.

 

[Draje]

Would you have felt that you were being treated differently had she not told you the truth?

Who knows? Maybe if I could compare it to a dude she actually wanted to fukk when she saw him.

I've never grown attracted to a man: either I felt it immediately or I didn't.

With that said, I think telling someone that is in poor taste. OTOH, don't ask questions you don't want [true] answers to either.

BTW, levels of attraction & love increase and decrease all the time in relationships.

Levels of attraction increase but raw, primal desire is instinctual. It's the difference between "I'd fukk him in a second" and "He gonna work for this shyt"

 

[Lady.Libra.]

Who knows? Maybe if I could compare it to a dude she actually wanted to fukk when she saw him.



Levels of attraction increase but raw, primal desire is instinctual. It's the difference between "I'd fukk him in a second" and "He gonna work for this shyt"

Yes, true. But even with 'primal desire' in the mix, women still pray that a man doesn't say or do something stupid that's a huge turn-off. Primal desires be damned. Circles right back to attraction whether it's fireworks or a slow burn.

 

[Draje]

Yes, true. But even with 'primal desire' in the mix, women still pray that a man doesn't say or do something stupid that's a huge turn-off. Primal desires be damned. Circles right back to attraction whether it's fireworks or a slow burn.

Of course they do. But a man who generates raw primal attraction is better off than a man who doesn't and it's never a compliment to tell someone that they weren't interested but grew more attracted to you.

If your husband told you he wasn't attracted to physically but he grew more attracted to you because you were fun, smart, etc...you wouldn't feel some sort of way?