Impact of parenting vs. peer group environment

[Dusty Bake Activate]

I briefly spoke on this on Sunday's podcast. I said I had read that a lot of modern research points to kids' environment amongst their peers being more instrumental in shaping their personality than the parenting they receive, which I think goes against commonly accepted layperson wisdom.

Obviously this very difficult to gauge and determine. This is Steven Pinker talking about it. Thought I'd share.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcVu6fgN3-g&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]Steven Pinker - Parental Influence On Personality - YouTube[/ame]

 

[zerozero]

yeah my take on this came from reading The Blank Slate lo those many years ago

I take wide-cutting stuff like his with a pinch of salt of course but I do find him convincing on this matter

 

[Serious]

Interesting.

You can definitely say, the environment in which a person lives in can have a significant effect on their development.

Some things in my life I just wrote off as coming of age. Like rebelling in middle school. Never put too much train of thought into it. Even though, I had switched from going to school in an affluent - higher middle class area to a lower tier poverty effected area. The change in my state of mind, required me to adapt or else I'd be a victim (bullied / extorted) / product (gangbang / druggy) of the toxic(imo) environment.

It definitely does, something to your mind as a youngster, when you see / hear about kids your age getting shot by the police or by gang banging through crossfire / refusing join a gang....

You're like always in a constant state of watching your surroundings. You look to drugs and sex as a way of relief, mainly because you don't know if you'll make it to through the next 24.

But I always wrote these generalizations off, because I found out that kids in burbs were also engaging acts of sex and rampant drug use....

At the end of the day, I always say it comes to down to individual will, to break from the pack(crab in the barrel mentality).

 

[Type Username Here]

What's not to say that a child's peers are "bad" because of faulty parenting?

It seems like both factors play a heavy role, but I'd be willing to bet the statistics will show that children with good and invested parents do better.

I think environment does play a significant role too, especially considering the other side of the argument, which is: why do kids of wealthy, but non-invested parents seem to do well in education in general?

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

What's not to say that a child's peers are "bad" because of faulty parenting?

It seems like both factors play a heavy role, but I'd be willing to bet the statistics will show that children with good and invested parents do better.

I think environment does play a significant role too, especially considering the other side of the argument, which is: why do kids of wealthy, but non-invested parents seem to do well in education in general?

Yeah, it's very difficult to determine. Just speaking from my personal experience, I would say that most of what my parents said went through one ear and out the other and I was heavily influenced by my peers and environment in the neighborhood, school, etc. looking back. I think a lot of that was because I felt like there was a huge discrepancy between the world my parents created in the home and the world outside my door. The two just didn't connect. It probably had to do with the fact that they were both immigrants and even though they had been in the U.S. for several years, they weren't raised here and were sheltered to the experience of growing up here. After my parents divorced when I was like 14 or something like that, my mom worked like 60-70 hours a week all through my teen years, so she was never home. She got tuned out even more then.

 

[Type Username Here]

Yeah, it's very difficult to determine. Just speaking from my personal experience, I would say that most of what my parents said went through one ear and out the other and I was heavily influenced by my peers and environment in the neighborhood, school, etc. looking back. I think a lot of that was because I felt like there was a huge discrepancy between the world my parents created in the home and the world outside my door. The two just didn't connect. It probably had to do with the fact that they were both immigrants and even though they had been in the U.S. for several years, they weren't raised here and were sheltered to the experience of growing up here. After my parents divorced when I was like 14 or something like that, my mom worked like 60-70 hours a week all through my teen years, so she was never home. She got tuned out even more then.

A question though: did you have "Tiger Mom" parents? They might have stressed education to you, but did they punish you when you failed to meet their expectations?

That's the main difference I think. You can't just stress how important education is, you have to back it up with discomfort if the goals are not reached.

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

A question though: did you have "Tiger Mom" parents? They might have stressed education to you, but did they punish you when you failed to meet their expectations?

That's the main difference I think. You can't just stress how important education is, you have to back it up with discomfort if the goals are not reached.

My mom placed a strong emphasis on education and also stressed that it was the key to success and mandatory, but Tiger Mom? Nah. She did punish us if we made bad grades, though. Like taking away privileges, not being able to go outside, etc...and a lot of stern lectures. So yeah, she did back it up with discomfort.

But I wasn't just talking about education. I got along with her great too, I just tuned out what she taught me. She was a sheltered uber-Christian that grew up a holiness church and had us on some shyt like no cussing in the house, no improper grammar, always be nice to everyone, don't fight, go to church every Sunday, no sex before marriage, etc. But that just wasn't practical or realistic when you go outside and dudes are testing you and chicks are trying play games with you, etc. So I always loved and respected her and we always got along well and she's the nicest lady in the world. but I just didn't really listen to anything she was saying.