Hathaway
Someday, We'll All Be Free
July 7th, 2022
The older we get, the faster time moves. When we are in our youth, we have no concept of time. Not really. The world is our playground. But that treacherous road between youth and adult hood is unforgiving. That playground mutates quickly into a sea of relentless fire looking to consume all whom are unprepared for it.
I was unprepared for it. Either by a sick twist of fate or from my own careless inaction. I should've followed my heart and not the advice of my elders. Everybody has dreams but each one is so intricately tuned to you and your desires that many of those around you can't perceive your visions.
Do the blind have dreams? Many of the sightless see far better than we can because they have vision. Innervisions. Like Stevie. We trot around this planet seeing but not understanding. If you don't understand what you see, are you really seeing?
Every morning, I get up and go to bathroom and look at myself in the mirror trying to mentally prepare myself for work. The sun is still down. I leave my home in darkness, the moon my only guide as I navigate these winding, rural roads into town. I am a ghost. I watch the street lights illuminate the road wishing I had that burning light to illuminate the darkness in my soul. Wishing I had the fortitude to shine when my light was brightest. When I was young. My own wisdom used against me. Time will never stand still. It waits for no man or woman. Grab your dreams and hold dear to them. Do not let your inaction allow life to strip you of it.
Aug 5th 2022
I'm at work... Again. On my 30 minute break. I got here early today. Clocked in at 4:20am. Was supposed to be here at 5am. I had the entire area set up and ready to go by the time the rest of the crew even got here. We had a lot of big orders going out. I had all of it prepped and ready before they could even start setting up their areas. I'm unrecognized. I feel unappreciated. The only black man in this bytch and I work harder than 98% of them. When they look at me, I wonder do they feel inferior...Who's really inferior though? I bust my ass and for what? I reap no benefit from it. Hollow words of gratitude from the "superiors": "good job Hathaway. You really carried us through those orders". Stfu cac.
I'm a top 3 worker in this mf. The other 2? In management/leadership positions. But not me. Maybe I'm not good enough to them. I don't seek their approval though. Not anymore. It's all good. This is my reality.
There are some guys behind me having a fukking bible study. It's nauseating. Sheep. Too afraid to carry their own destiny so they seek a fictional sadistic, psychopath in the sky to direct their lives. Can't believe I use to be its mouthpiece. The thousands of lives I've lied to over the years. Preaching this "gospel". Fools. I was the bigger fool. The irony is deafening.
Aug 8th 2022
Another Monday in this hell. A hell of my own creation. Everybody makes mistakes in life. But I feel my mistakes are insurmountable though. Whatever. Every day I have a pity party for myself. I guess it's healthy. Whenever I have a decent day, or when I'm feeling positive, I make sure to always humble myself. Happiness is fleeting. Reality is a forever present shadow that looms over me. Making sure to remind me of where I am in life and how much I've failed up to this point.
My manly pride is all that keeps me going. The pride I have in my family. The pride I have in my diminishing dreams. My talents. Even though I've spent my life going backwards, there is still a road forward somewhere. I just struggle finding that path. This pathway that I currently walk is a dark one. It is lonely. It is cold. But with each small step I make; with each small goal that I set for myself and accomplish, I move forward.
What is a man without his pride? He is no man at all. What is success without failure? A lessonless journey. I am learning with each painful step I take. Progress hurts. Running uphill is uncomfortable. It is tiring. Draining. Running uphill while carrying your mental burdens, your trauma and your family is... there is no word in the English lexicon to accurately describe such exhaustion.
The older we get, the faster time moves. When we are in our youth, we have no concept of time. Not really. The world is our playground. But that treacherous road between youth and adult hood is unforgiving. That playground mutates quickly into a sea of relentless fire looking to consume all whom are unprepared for it.
I was unprepared for it. Either by a sick twist of fate or from my own careless inaction. I should've followed my heart and not the advice of my elders. Everybody has dreams but each one is so intricately tuned to you and your desires that many of those around you can't perceive your visions.
Do the blind have dreams? Many of the sightless see far better than we can because they have vision. Innervisions. Like Stevie. We trot around this planet seeing but not understanding. If you don't understand what you see, are you really seeing?
Every morning, I get up and go to bathroom and look at myself in the mirror trying to mentally prepare myself for work. The sun is still down. I leave my home in darkness, the moon my only guide as I navigate these winding, rural roads into town. I am a ghost. I watch the street lights illuminate the road wishing I had that burning light to illuminate the darkness in my soul. Wishing I had the fortitude to shine when my light was brightest. When I was young. My own wisdom used against me. Time will never stand still. It waits for no man or woman. Grab your dreams and hold dear to them. Do not let your inaction allow life to strip you of it.
Aug 5th 2022
I'm at work... Again. On my 30 minute break. I got here early today. Clocked in at 4:20am. Was supposed to be here at 5am. I had the entire area set up and ready to go by the time the rest of the crew even got here. We had a lot of big orders going out. I had all of it prepped and ready before they could even start setting up their areas. I'm unrecognized. I feel unappreciated. The only black man in this bytch and I work harder than 98% of them. When they look at me, I wonder do they feel inferior...Who's really inferior though? I bust my ass and for what? I reap no benefit from it. Hollow words of gratitude from the "superiors": "good job Hathaway. You really carried us through those orders". Stfu cac.
I'm a top 3 worker in this mf. The other 2? In management/leadership positions. But not me. Maybe I'm not good enough to them. I don't seek their approval though. Not anymore. It's all good. This is my reality.
There are some guys behind me having a fukking bible study. It's nauseating. Sheep. Too afraid to carry their own destiny so they seek a fictional sadistic, psychopath in the sky to direct their lives. Can't believe I use to be its mouthpiece. The thousands of lives I've lied to over the years. Preaching this "gospel". Fools. I was the bigger fool. The irony is deafening.
Aug 8th 2022
Another Monday in this hell. A hell of my own creation. Everybody makes mistakes in life. But I feel my mistakes are insurmountable though. Whatever. Every day I have a pity party for myself. I guess it's healthy. Whenever I have a decent day, or when I'm feeling positive, I make sure to always humble myself. Happiness is fleeting. Reality is a forever present shadow that looms over me. Making sure to remind me of where I am in life and how much I've failed up to this point.
My manly pride is all that keeps me going. The pride I have in my family. The pride I have in my diminishing dreams. My talents. Even though I've spent my life going backwards, there is still a road forward somewhere. I just struggle finding that path. This pathway that I currently walk is a dark one. It is lonely. It is cold. But with each small step I make; with each small goal that I set for myself and accomplish, I move forward.
What is a man without his pride? He is no man at all. What is success without failure? A lessonless journey. I am learning with each painful step I take. Progress hurts. Running uphill is uncomfortable. It is tiring. Draining. Running uphill while carrying your mental burdens, your trauma and your family is... there is no word in the English lexicon to accurately describe such exhaustion.
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My nikka Big Dikk Rev, nothing but love and respect on this side, king.
