I need yall to come and critique this poem i wrote

[Silkk]

Could you see yourself fallin for somebody like me and um
in fact if you could
i got money now
can you see yourself if you had to move back up in the hood
now during sex lay there i'ma have to ask if it's good
this rap stuff stressful let's go see if we can relax in the woods
when i first met you at the bus stop lookin all shy-like
tellin your friend how much that you hated my type
but I'm ready to change,
I'm willin to put the game on it, put the range on it
put powerful things on it
sooner or later probably have tattos with my name on it
now look i like to live fast, addicted to cash, the 45 on the dash
and you know me, if you know me, o.g. i'm down to act bad
i need a more than a friend but not quite a relationship
a girl when i come off tour i can't wait to get with
not the stupid chick the one i probably could vacation with
you gotta go somewhere you know what boo go ahead
take the six
now you gotta make a choice either wrong or right
you tried before maybe you just need a thug in your life
what's up


What yall think?

 

[yo moms]

 

[Nintendough]

As a serious poet I'll give an honest opinion.....you need a little work. I appreciate the thug love aspect though.

 

[OnDaScene]

record this shyt and post it homie

 

[Bigbigguy]

 

[WhatsGoodTy]

I'm a poet too, and this comes off as more as a rap verse if anything. I like the ol 90s thugin love though.