Salvation....
I'm trying my best to Jedi mind trick myself into becoming a trucker. My guy @UpAndComing gave me the suggestion to drive a truck or get a trade. It sound great on paper until you accept the reality that you will live in a truck smelling like ass, teeth looking like Juelz santana and interacting with all the riff Raff bottom feeders you used to stick your nose in the air towards.
I always had dreams of being a fly artist with beautiful women, drapped in gold from head to toe, pushing the fly whip and travelling the world. Opening up art galleries and doing major star studded art shows. Now I'm about to drive a fukking truck and my only companionship will be my mediocre dispatcher who will google my name and like most mediocre people get excited and ask me to draw him a picture because everybody think they have artistic ideas. And I'll comply just to stay on good terms with him and get good runs.
I can't believe it came down to this. It's hard transitioning from being an artist to becoming a truck driver. My brain is wired for creativity so I gotta basically reprogram everything I taught myself.
I'm currently been studying for my ny state Class-A permit for about 5 months procrastinating and I'm forcing myself to read the manual to complete the practice quizzes.
I try to read but all I can think about is art. I love art. I love expressing myself. I'm addicted to creating and seeing people's reaction. It's a drug, a high I simply can't explain.
I grew up lonely. The only child and never had friends or got women. Something about attention and admiration is an addiction for me. It makes me feel like a somebody. It makes me feel love and wanted.
Nothing like creating art and somebody telling you how much it touch their soul. I can't have enough. I want more and more. I know my addiction will be my undoing but like most addicts I'll pursue it anyway. Because this hole inside of me will never close no matter how hard I try.
I belong to the game. I was born for this shyt. All I can think about is how many wack so called artist like that bytch nikka koven are pretending to be me. Pretending to be artist. I'm a real artist. Not somebody pretending. I'm an artist forreal. I love this game. I poured my soul into it. I gave my heart to it, only for it to be broken repeatedly.
So farewell art and hello to trucking. At some point DrX have to grow up and be an responsible adult. But Damn it, nobody from my generation did it like me.
I'm trying my best to Jedi mind trick myself into becoming a trucker. My guy @UpAndComing gave me the suggestion to drive a truck or get a trade. It sound great on paper until you accept the reality that you will live in a truck smelling like ass, teeth looking like Juelz santana and interacting with all the riff Raff bottom feeders you used to stick your nose in the air towards.
I always had dreams of being a fly artist with beautiful women, drapped in gold from head to toe, pushing the fly whip and travelling the world. Opening up art galleries and doing major star studded art shows. Now I'm about to drive a fukking truck and my only companionship will be my mediocre dispatcher who will google my name and like most mediocre people get excited and ask me to draw him a picture because everybody think they have artistic ideas. And I'll comply just to stay on good terms with him and get good runs.
I can't believe it came down to this. It's hard transitioning from being an artist to becoming a truck driver. My brain is wired for creativity so I gotta basically reprogram everything I taught myself.
I'm currently been studying for my ny state Class-A permit for about 5 months procrastinating and I'm forcing myself to read the manual to complete the practice quizzes.
I try to read but all I can think about is art. I love art. I love expressing myself. I'm addicted to creating and seeing people's reaction. It's a drug, a high I simply can't explain.
I grew up lonely. The only child and never had friends or got women. Something about attention and admiration is an addiction for me. It makes me feel like a somebody. It makes me feel love and wanted.
Nothing like creating art and somebody telling you how much it touch their soul. I can't have enough. I want more and more. I know my addiction will be my undoing but like most addicts I'll pursue it anyway. Because this hole inside of me will never close no matter how hard I try.
I belong to the game. I was born for this shyt. All I can think about is how many wack so called artist like that bytch nikka koven are pretending to be me. Pretending to be artist. I'm a real artist. Not somebody pretending. I'm an artist forreal. I love this game. I poured my soul into it. I gave my heart to it, only for it to be broken repeatedly.
So farewell art and hello to trucking. At some point DrX have to grow up and be an responsible adult. But Damn it, nobody from my generation did it like me.
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