How is your relationship with your parents like?

[Collateral]

My parents aren't the type of parents you could go to for advice or anything like that. Too old fashioned. Old fashioned Jamaicans at that. I never went to my pops for advice for girls and stuff like that (no Kent ). He never came to me and gamed me about life. We just never had that type of relationship.

The general consensus about me is that I am a momma's boy. I will emphatically say this is not by choice, however. I am my parent's only son, so I guess with my mom, she tried to force a mother-son relationship by babying me and spoiling me when I was little. Despite that, our relationship was never tight like that. Plus, it ended up fukking me over because I had no skills growing up. I don't know how to cook, I didn't know to do laundry for the longest, so-on and so-forth, because everything was already done and handed to me. I don't hold regular conversations with them. We just don't converse like that.

I hate saying this, but my parent's don't know me son. They don't know my likes, my dislikes, my passions, my goals, my dreams, none of that shyt fam. I don't know if it's a generational difference, or poor parenting skills on their side? Or could it begin with me? Should I have been the one to initiate things with them? Like bringing up my day at school, or talking about a girl I like? Idk i'm confused fam. I believe as a parent you should seek to have a bond with your children. Not to just let them "float on by" like how I was raised basically. Don't get me wrong b, I love my parents dearly, I honestly dunno what I'd do without them. But this shyt has been eating me up a bit.



Give me your input brehettes and brehs, what do yall think went wrong here? Do yall think this can be rectified in any way, or is it too late? My parents are up there in age, dad bout to be 62, moms bout to be 55

Serious replies please, no trolling. I wanna hear your stance on this, as well as how you were raised.

And my fault in advance for this long ass spiel son, I know some of you nikkas have the attention span of a 2 minute old beaver and shyt

 

[Collateral]

Guise pls halp

 

[Paradise]

Don't feel bad... I have a young mother and an older father.

The parental units weren't big on hugging, kissing, and praise.

I couldn't go to them and say I'm having problems I had to figure it out myself.

If I had children I would want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me and say mama I need help or lend a listening ear.


You have to do like my sister done and just ask why didn't you do x,y and z.

She questioned my mother after seeing her friend being overly affectionate with her daughter.
She asked why weren't we kissed and hugged like that. Why we can't sit down and talk like adults. I don't know the answer she got... but soon after that my mama started telling us she loved us before we would hang up off the phone or if we leave the house.

Just talk to them...

 

[DrX]

their cool....i just dont take advice from them....if i wouldve listened to my parents...i would be all fukked up.....basically talking a metaphorical dikk up my ass

they mean well, but dont understand about the complexity of being young and black in 2016

 

[Collateral]

Don't feel bad... I have a young mother and an older father.

The parental units weren't big on hugging, kissing, and praise.

I couldn't go to them and say I'm having problems I had to figure it out myself.

If I had children I would want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me and say mama I need help or lend a listening ear.


You have to do like my sister done and just ask why didn't you do x,y and z.

She questioned my mother after seeing her friend being overly affectionate with her daughter.
She asked why weren't we kissed and hugged like that. Why we can't sit down and talk like adults. I don't know the answer she got... but soon after that my mama started telling us she loved us before we would hang up off the phone or if we leave the house.

Just talk to them...

That's what i'm talking about. I would want my kids to feel like they can come to me about anything.

 

[AyBrehHam Linkin]

theyre cool af. kinda old fashioned but they fukk with every life decision i make as long as it isnt some dumb shyt. sure they'll give their opinion but it's not like they force me to abide by it.


What separates them from alotta other parents it seems is that they want me hold up to my own standards, not theirs.

 

[BabyGrl1990]

I don't talk to my dad at all now, but we had a pretty good relationship when I was younger. We spent a lot of time together and he would buy me a lot of toys. My relationship with my mom has always been great.

 

[DAlbert]

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Bruv thats an immigrant thing. I have the same thing with my pops. We have bumped heads all my life, but he still doesn't know shyt about me. I'm close with my mom though. If not for her I would have stopped fukking with him long ago. Gonna try and make one last bid to reconcile before we start having kids and then that's it.

 

[Stir Fry]

Both mine are dead

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Both mine are dead

 

[Hope]

most parents don't know there children. I think they just want them to survive and not be in jail or homeless. And how exactly do you help a child achieve that when you can only give what you got. Life was horrible for years. Just poor health, lots of poverty, and destruction for ages. Raiing kids wasn't really possible until 1960's.

I've never been able to have convos with parents about my life, emotions, goals, or passions. But money and roof over my head was always there. My mother abused me for years physically, emotionally, and psychologically until age of 14 because she was overwhelmed and had rage issues, and my father had no time to be home for his first 12 years of sobriety. When mysister died when I was 14, I detached from all family family (parents and extended).

But eventually they worked on their relationship, and I remained detached. im still alive and never been in jail. they paid of two of my loans twice (not huge ones, but still, a blessing I needed). I feel resentful a lot, but i want to break they cycle. they certainly need help with their health and socializing. I do worry they will have a rough, misereable retirement if they don't change. But i can't control them. Just try to be a positive example, especially when I on't want to be. It's never too late to change.

Give me your input brehettes and brehs, what do yall think went wrong here? Do yall think this can be rectified in any way, or is it too late? My parents are up there in age, dad bout to be 62, moms bout to be 55

that is not up there in age. Plenty of time to start fresh. My mom is ill and 61. Dad is okay, and 62.

 

[Collateral]

most parents don't know there children. I think they just want them to survive and not be in jail or homeless. And how exactly do you help a child achieve that when you can only give what you got. Life was horrible for years. Just poor health, lots of poverty, and destruction for ages. Raiing kids wasn't really possible until 1960's.

I've never been able to have convos with parents about my life, emotions, goals, or passions. But money and roof over my head was always there. My mother abused me for years physically, emotionally, and psychologically until age of 14 because she was overwhelmed and had rage issues, and my father had no time to be home for his first 12 years of sobriety. When mysister died when I was 14, I detached from all family family (parents and extended).

But eventually they worked on their relationship, and I remained detached. im still alive and never been in jail. they paid of two of my loans twice (not huge ones, but still, a blessing I needed). I feel resentful a lot, but i want to break they cycle. they certainly need help with their health and socializing. I do worry they will have a rough, misereable retirement if they don't change. But i can't control them. Just try to be a positive example, especially when I on't want to be. It's never too late to change.




that is not up there in age. Plenty of time to start fresh. My mom is ill and 61. Dad is okay, and 62.

Damn thats rough being abused by someone who is supposed to care for you, I couldnt imagine going thru that. But in your parents case, I don't think there is much you can do to change them. They are who they are, they may be miserable until the day they die