This inspired from that Hamilton vs. Burr thread some time back. Some folk take beef to no limit.
Let me tell you how long Kozo Nishino let that ether burn.
In August 1930, Kozo Noshino was a proud Japanese naval officer in command of a merchant ship. This was long before the war started and the USA and Japan didn't have no thing between them yet.
Noshino was sailing past Cali when he stopped at the Ellwood Oil Field to pump some petrol. Americans knew dem Japanese were all about those formalities and honor so they had all that red carpet dignitary kinda crap waiting for him.
But on the way to the ceremony, Nishino tripped and landed his ass straight in a patch of prickly pear cactus.
Some local oil workers saw him getting cactus spines pulled out of his literal ass and laughed they own asses off.
Krazy Kozo would never forget their mocking faces.
He waited twelve years to get his revenge.
In 1942, after Japan declared war on Pearl Harbor, Japanese submarines began patrolling the California coast, looking for military support ships to sink. Now Noshino was back in US waters as a submarine commander. After a few weeks most of the subs had to return to Japan. But Noshino wanted more action. And he had a target in mind that had nothing to do with merchant ships.
On the night of February 23, 1942, Noshino’s submarine surfaced just off the shore of Ellwood Oil Field, the exact spot where he had had his fateful fall in the cactus. Where they had laughed. 
Where he had been humiliated, shamed, lost face. 
Where they had never expected him to come back with a six-inch deck gun. 
Noshino lined up the oil facility in the submarine's sights and shelled dem fools for the next half hour, dropping 25 six-inch shells on their heads. Luckily, he did not manage to hit the fuel tanks, though he did destroy several buildings. There were no casualties. But he had struck fear into his target.
As the submarine left, a man living on the coastline mistakenly reported seeing the submarine head south, to Los Angeles. The confused witness thought he saw the sub flashing signal lights to someone on shore. Terror overcame America.
Why had the Japanese attacked such a meaningless facility? It didn’t make sense. It must be a diversion! They must be readying a bigger attack somewhere else!
The entire military structure of the West Coast went on high alert.
The following night, radar scanners picked up something off the Los Angeles coast. It disappeared before they could ID it. The commander ordered a blackout. A few minutes later somebody was tripping and (falsely) reported seeing enemy planes. They set off the air raid sirens. At 3:06am some oblivious fool in Santa Monica launched a weather balloon of all things. Soldiers saw the weather balloon moving across the sky and mistook it for a Japanese plane. All hell broke loose.
At 3:15am the 37th Coast Artillery Brigade let loose from over 250 anti-aircraft guns. Other gunners began firing 50-cal machine guns randomly into the air. Soon gunners were mistaking the explosions and smoke from anti-aircraft shells for enemy aircraft in the sky, and began aiming at each other’s exploding shells. The shelling continued for 59 minutes, now known as “The Battle of Los Angeles.”
By next morning there had been 1400 anti-aircraft shells fired and 5 civilian deaths due to auto accidents and heart attacks in the midst of the melee. No persons or aircraft were hit by the shells, but a lot of property was damaged.
And there was no Japanese attack the whole time.
In the confused morning after, some Angelenos dragged a 51-year-old Japanese woman to the cops. They claimed she had been turning her lights on and off and closing her drapes in a suspicious manner, signaling to the (nonexistent) Japanese planes.
President Roosevelt had already signed the declaration announcing the Japanese internment a month earlier, but there had been opposition to the idea and nothing was set yet. Now California was terrified, and it was a done deal.
Over 110,000 Japanese persons on the West Coast would be pulled out of their homes, forced inland, and keep in internment camps in the deserts until 1945.
All because some ignorant oil workers dared to laugh at Kozo Noshino.
tldr: Japanese officer got embarrassed falling into a patch of cactus, shelled a California oil facility in response and low-key caused the Japanese internment
Let me tell you how long Kozo Nishino let that ether burn.
In August 1930, Kozo Noshino was a proud Japanese naval officer in command of a merchant ship. This was long before the war started and the USA and Japan didn't have no thing between them yet.
Noshino was sailing past Cali when he stopped at the Ellwood Oil Field to pump some petrol. Americans knew dem Japanese were all about those formalities and honor so they had all that red carpet dignitary kinda crap waiting for him.
But on the way to the ceremony, Nishino tripped and landed his ass straight in a patch of prickly pear cactus.
Some local oil workers saw him getting cactus spines pulled out of his literal ass and laughed they own asses off.
Krazy Kozo would never forget their mocking faces.
He waited twelve years to get his revenge.In 1942, after Japan declared war on Pearl Harbor, Japanese submarines began patrolling the California coast, looking for military support ships to sink. Now Noshino was back in US waters as a submarine commander. After a few weeks most of the subs had to return to Japan. But Noshino wanted more action. And he had a target in mind that had nothing to do with merchant ships.
On the night of February 23, 1942, Noshino’s submarine surfaced just off the shore of Ellwood Oil Field, the exact spot where he had had his fateful fall in the cactus.
Where they had laughed. Where he had been humiliated, shamed, lost face. Where they had never expected him to come back with a six-inch deck gun.
Noshino lined up the oil facility in the submarine's sights and shelled dem fools for the next half hour, dropping 25 six-inch shells on their heads. Luckily, he did not manage to hit the fuel tanks, though he did destroy several buildings. There were no casualties. But he had struck fear into his target.
As the submarine left, a man living on the coastline mistakenly reported seeing the submarine head south, to Los Angeles. The confused witness thought he saw the sub flashing signal lights to someone on shore. Terror overcame America.
Why had the Japanese attacked such a meaningless facility? It didn’t make sense. It must be a diversion! They must be readying a bigger attack somewhere else!
The entire military structure of the West Coast went on high alert.
The following night, radar scanners picked up something off the Los Angeles coast. It disappeared before they could ID it. The commander ordered a blackout. A few minutes later somebody was tripping and (falsely) reported seeing enemy planes. They set off the air raid sirens. At 3:06am some oblivious fool in Santa Monica launched a weather balloon of all things. Soldiers saw the weather balloon moving across the sky and mistook it for a Japanese plane. All hell broke loose.
At 3:15am the 37th Coast Artillery Brigade let loose from over 250 anti-aircraft guns. Other gunners began firing 50-cal machine guns randomly into the air. Soon gunners were mistaking the explosions and smoke from anti-aircraft shells for enemy aircraft in the sky, and began aiming at each other’s exploding shells. The shelling continued for 59 minutes, now known as “The Battle of Los Angeles.”
By next morning there had been 1400 anti-aircraft shells fired and 5 civilian deaths due to auto accidents and heart attacks in the midst of the melee. No persons or aircraft were hit by the shells, but a lot of property was damaged.
And there was no Japanese attack the whole time.
In the confused morning after, some Angelenos dragged a 51-year-old Japanese woman to the cops. They claimed she had been turning her lights on and off and closing her drapes in a suspicious manner, signaling to the (nonexistent) Japanese planes.
President Roosevelt had already signed the declaration announcing the Japanese internment a month earlier, but there had been opposition to the idea and nothing was set yet. Now California was terrified, and it was a done deal.
Over 110,000 Japanese persons on the West Coast would be pulled out of their homes, forced inland, and keep in internment camps in the deserts until 1945.
All because some ignorant oil workers dared to laugh at Kozo Noshino.
tldr: Japanese officer got embarrassed falling into a patch of cactus, shelled a California oil facility in response and low-key caused the Japanese internment
