Emotional Abandonment in A Relationship

[Marc Spector]

We talk on this board ALOT about cheating but honestly i think it isn't as much a relationship killer as "mentally checking out" in a relationship.

Rather id say ALOT of cheaters emotionally/mentally check out first then PHYSICALLY betray their spouses.

I bring this up because my best friends marriage is on the verge of ending because his wife emotionally abandoned him. He's taking it pretty tough and he's like a brother to me so Im angry for him. They grew apart and his wife filled the void by partying with her friends CONSTANTLY and was crushing on one of her coworkers (my friend found out about it and confronted her about it).

Even though the cheating never happened (AFAIK) she had already broken up with my friend probably months before he even realized that shyt was fukked up.

My parents actually as well are going through a bad spell of the same issue too....

Its a very prevalent issue i see in relationships. Has it happened to any of you? Have any of you all done it to someone? Whats the colis opinion of it all?

 

[Poitier]

Been on both ends and its a terrible feeling but not unsolvable depending on if you are willing to address the issue and give it time to bounce back. Some times though it gets to a point where you get tired of telling your gf/bf certain things you'd like to change and in those cases it is warranted IMO.

 

[Fatboi1]

Her presence just isn't the same.

You get less phone calls from her, she's suddenly "busy" now, she's not coming over like she used to, she's been on her phone more often etc. That excitement and coming around whenever to just be around you isn't there.

It's happened to me and it's very noticeable.
It wasn't too bad as we weren't going out and I noticed it from the jump so I kind of knew what was up.

The most common denominator for all this is chicks that find you predictable/boring. If you're always into something, getting attention from other women, not "caring" as much this won't happen as fast. If you start doing the same thing every day, care a lot, agreeing and putting things off for her then weirdly that'll make her leave faster. Longest I had a chick emotionally strung was like 2 years but even then during that time she was creepin with other dudes but I was messin with other chicks so it was a fair exchange

 

[Boogie]

My feelings out the door soon as I bust my nut

 

[International Playa]

2 of my last relationships ended like that. Lack of affection was a sign, chicks gradually gave less hugs or kisses when they came up to greet me .Women tend to get bored after they been in the relationship for a longtime. I think my issue was, I wasnt mysterious enough, spent too much time with them & I wasnt a challenge. I learnt a lesson from that.

Relationships in 2016 are so disposable. Once you have heard all their stories, all their jokes from ya S/O and sex aint as exciting anymore, things get mundane. Thats when people usually start looking for other people for that new excitment of getting to know someone new

 

[Poitier]

2 of my last relationships ended like that. Lack of affection was a sign, chicks gradually gave less hugs or kisses when they came up to greet me .Women tend to get bored after they been in the relationship for a longtime. I think my issue was, I wasnt mysterious enough, spent too much time with them & I wasnt a challenge. I learnt a lesson from that.

Relationships in 2016 are so disposable. Once you have heard all their stories, all their jokes from ya S/O and sex aint as exciting anymore, things get mundane. Thats when people usually start looking for other people for that new excitment of getting to know someone new

Thats why you have to find someone who understands that relationships are a business, first and foremost.

 

[Ol’Otis]

Emotionally infidelity is the worse

I give a relationship less than 3 months these days like the young man @Poitier said relationships are a business and honey we're in a recession

 

[360dagod]

My feelings out the door soon as I bust my nut

 

[Luna]

Sucks to be on the other side, too - although arguably less. I'm emotionally detached even towards the few friends and family I grew up with. Sometimes they reach out but I quickly become unresponsive/dissociative. I can't even fathom living with a S.O and having to put forward the effort of interacting with them every day.

 

[MikelArteta]

thats usually how women end it, slowly detach,less phone calls and texts, less seeing of you. Maybe will start calling you your government instead of babe, you bring it up and they will say everything is fine its ok. You'll still feel it in your gut, then get hit with dem thangs. I love you in the morning and in the evening I need a break/space/breaking up but I still love you. I'd say 85% of the time there is already a guy in the background, most men don't see it coming and can't fathom but everything was ok she said she loved me this morning and now. Trust your gut, its why men can cheat on women and they find out get angry but majority will take back because there still emotionally detached, but once they cut that cord its usually cut for ever, there are steps you can implement to try but .


so to sum it up, while a woman is suckign your dikk, saying sweet words in your ear, kissing you she's working on emotionally detaching from you.

I remember with a ex of mine the picture of me and her by the bedside wasn't there anymore and I asked what happaned to it and she said she was cleaning and forgot to put it back, then she sucked my dikk and I forgot about it, but like a week later baaaaaaam your a great guy but.

 

[Marc Spector]

2 of my last relationships ended like that. Lack of affection was a sign, chicks gradually gave less hugs or kisses when they came up to greet me .Women tend to get bored after they been in the relationship for a longtime. I think my issue was, I wasnt mysterious enough, spent too much time with them & I wasnt a challenge. I learnt a lesson from that.

Relationships in 2016 are so disposable. Once you have heard all their stories, all their jokes from ya S/O and sex aint as exciting anymore, things get mundane. Thats when people usually start looking for other people for that new excitment of getting to know someone new

See honestly I think thats what people would say my friend did wrong.

Backstory: my friend is a needy, square guy and has never played the field. So he was far more of the "lover" in he and his wife relationship.

My question is: who, if not your wife/husband, are you to fully let your guard down around? Why play the games of "mysteriousness" and all that with someone who is supposed to be your life partner (and I'm not knocking you fam cuz Ive learned "to play the game" as well)

 

[Texasdymond]

Sucks to be on the other side, too - although arguably less. I'm emotionally detached even towards the few friends and family I grew up with. Sometimes they reach out but I quickly become unresponsive/dissociative. I can't even fathom living with a S.O and having to put forward the effort of interacting with them every day.

You look emotionally unattached in that pic. Pretty, but flat in the eyes

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I've never done it in a relationship but I've definitely done it in the pre-relationship stage.

Sometimes after a few dates my mind just goes to mode.

 

[360dagod]

See honestly I think thats what people would say my friend did wrong.

Backstory: my friend is a needy, square guy and has never played the field. So he was far more of the "lover" in he and his wife relationship.

My question is: who, if not your wife/husband, are you to fully let your guard down around? Why play the games of "mysteriousness" and all that with someone who is supposed to be your life partner (and I'm not knocking you fam cuz Ive learned "to play the game" as well)

its a never ending chess match...

women want you to play daddy/lover/counselor/badboy/provider/freak nikka..

I said in another thread, its like being a quarterback of the offense

the defense might look like a blitz, but if you know ya broad plays a cover 2, the foundation of her defense will be a cover 2 in some way..with a lil wrinkle..

its up to you to decipher and make the best play possible..You wont win every play, but the key is to not lose the game

 

[Luna]

You look emotionally unattached in that pic. Pretty, but flat in the eyes

Yeah, some people are gifted with bright beautiful smiles. At some point, others gotta stop trying. lol