Drunk chronicles

[The G.O.D II]

Share some funny drunk tales


I remember on my 18th birthday I was in my Freshmen year of college. I was getting shyt face wasted. I wasn't really a heavy drinker then so my tolerance was real low. I had cheap cac beer, jungle juice at some random house party, and a mixture of everclear, redbull, pink lemonnade, and dimitri vodka. Yea headed for death. Also, a lot of weed. And me and my friends were smoking that shyt out of blunts, apples, bear cans,etc. I remember this one slut in my grooup tongue kissed me and I screamed to everyone "I HAVE AIDS" because this was like the second week of school and she already fukked 5 other dudes. Anyway, I'm smoking out of a can in some alley when someone yells cops. So me and my friends scatter. The houses in this town had those high ass walls so their front yards are elevated off the sidewalk a few feet. I'm so fukked up that I run from the alley, across the yard, and didn't take unto account the high wall. Yep, wild E coyote shyt. Straight status. Fell straight on my head and one hand. It was literally an out of body experience. I was still conscious but I literally couldnt move. We were several blocks from the dorms and there was no way I could make it on my own. I'm getting carried by my friends like

all across campus. I was in my bed a few minutes tweaking out thinking I would be brain damage. I was muttering and saying wild shyt to my friends, who of course recorded me. Needless to say, I recovered and somehow wound up in the bed of the ho who kissed me earlier that night. Head with ice cubes breh :whew2: Damn I miss college.

 

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

i'll have some decent posts for this whenever i feel like being amongst scoundrels and scallywags

#subs

 

[The G.O.D II]

So one time after a party which I struck at a party, me and one of my guys go to the dorm of a bytch with plans to tag team her. We get there and I'm so fukked up that I pass out on her roommates bed. I come around to see the nikka eating this white bytch out like no tomorrow. :flabbyhov: I pretend like I'm sleep to avoid akwardness of catching my boy munching strange wool. This nikka ate her out and curled up next to her like a baby after nursing. Once I'm sure he's passed out, I get up and start to say goodbye to the girl. But a little smile on her face told me she was still going. I grab her hand and take her to the bathroom where I smashed out. Story was hilarious because a few days later, the nikka who ate her out got burnt all on his lips/mouth :sager:

 

[HideoKojima]

So one time after a party which I struck at a party, me and one of my guys go to the dorm of a bytch with plans to tag team her. We get there and I'm so fukked up that I pass out on her roommates bed. I come around to see the nikka eating this white bytch out like no tomorrow. :flabbyhov: I pretend like I'm sleep to avoid akwardness of catching my boy munching strange wool. This nikka ate her out and curled up next to her like a baby after nursing. Once I'm sure he's passed out, I get up and start to say goodbye to the girl. But a little smile on her face told me she was still going. I grab her hand and take her to the bathroom where I smashed out. Story was hilarious because a few days later, the nikka who ate her out got burnt all on his lips/mouth :sager:

nikkas eat out broads they barely know...

 

[Chief]

I woke up in a hospital

Back story, I was with four friends and somehow I got blacked out and slept on the streets. I don't remember anything but I woke up on a hospital bed. I woke up and ask around and they told me what happened, I took a ride with an ambulance to the entrance of the varsity and when I finally got to my residence nikkas were relived coz they were contemplating about telling my brother that I was lost or possibly dead. But those b*stards left me on the street

 

[Mr.Plan B]

When i get a life i will bump this thread.

 

[YaBoy]

Share some funny drunk tales


I remember on my 18th birthday I was in my Freshmen year of college. I was getting shyt face wasted. I wasn't really a heavy drinker then so my tolerance was real low. I had cheap cac beer, jungle juice at some random house party, and a mixture of everclear, redbull, pink lemonnade, and dimitri vodka. Yea headed for death. Also, a lot of weed. And me and my friends were smoking that shyt out of blunts, apples, bear cans,etc. I remember this one slut in my grooup tongue kissed me and I screamed to everyone "I HAVE AIDS" because this was like the second week of school and she already fukked 5 other dudes. Anyway, I'm smoking out of a can in some alley when someone yells cops. So me and my friends scatter. The houses in this town had those high ass walls so their front yards are elevated off the sidewalk a few feet. I'm so fukked up that I run from the alley, across the yard, and didn't take unto account the high wall. Yep, wild E coyote shyt. Straight status. Fell straight on my head and one hand. It was literally an out of body experience. I was still conscious but I literally couldnt move. We were several blocks from the dorms and there was no way I could make it on my own. I'm getting carried by my friends like

all across campus. I was in my bed a few minutes tweaking out thinking I would be brain damage. I was muttering and saying wild shyt to my friends, who of course recorded me. Needless to say, I recovered and somehow wound up in the bed of the ho who kissed me earlier that night. Head with ice cubes breh :whew2: Damn I miss college.

 

[SanfordMan75]

ol fred's drunk tale
one time me & grady decided to go drinkin and he wuz already drunk as fuk but decided to want to drink mo at da bar and i wuz known for drinkin 40 shotz and handlin it like a pro but i decided to make it to 50 and da bartender wuz like slow down, mr. sanford but i said i aint done yet grady passed the fuk out in da bar so after anotha hour, muthaphukkin bartender told me to get da fuk out mah bar, we aint got no mo fukkin liquor, take yo ol crazy ass home muthaphukka so i tried to git grady but he wouldnt wake his stanky drunk ass up so i picked him up and threw him outside and said u aint comin in da car nicca but he said it alright ive been on dis same rug out da bar before so i woke up da next mornin drivin 100 mph but i aint drinkin no mo





until at least tommorrow

 

[Roberto Dinero]

Back in the day I used to hang with this alkie and we would see who could out drink who. On top of that we smoked weed too so u know by the end of the night u could barely walk.

Anyway, when it got time for me to go home, I fell asleep on the bus. So I'm passed out on the bus and I wake up and this guy starts talking to me.

He's like "Where do u live?" I was barely concious so I tell him I live in Kensington. Dude was like what the f*ck are u doing here then? Cause I was passed out on a bus somewhere in Clapton which is the other side of town.

Also Kensington is one of the richest areas of London and Clapton is hood. So, barely concious I was like, wtf am I doing here then? Dude was with a friend or something they both started laughing. That's all I remember from that conversation.

So anyway, I got off the bus and got on another bus. I fell asleep in that one too and ended up in Tottenham which is even further away.

So anyway, I finally got on another bus and managed to finally make it home. I left the club at like 2am and didn't get home till like 6am

It was a regular occurrence back in those days for me to fall asleep on a bus and end up on the other side of town. Every time I hung out with that dude he would take me to school drinking wise. And then u add weed to it, by the end of the night u don't know what's what

 

[The G.O.D II]

IDK breh. It was like a min I was wildin out thinking something was wrong, and the next I snapped back into rambunctious drunk mode

 

[The G.O.D II]

Back in the day I used to hang with this alkie and we would see who could out drink who. On top of that we smoked weed too so u know by the end of the night u could barely walk.

Anyway, when it got time for me to go home, I fell asleep on the bus. So I'm passed out on the bus and I wake up and this guy starts talking to me.

He's like "Where do u live?" I was barely concious so I tell him I live in Kensington. Dude was like what the f*ck are u doing here then? Cause I was passed out on a bus somewhere in Clapton which is the other side of town.

Also Kensington is one of the richest areas of London and Clapton is hood. So, barely concious I was like, wtf am I doing here then? Dude was with a friend or something they both started laughing. That's all I remember from that conversation.

So anyway, I got off the bus and got on another bus. I fell asleep in that one too and ended up in Tottenham which is even further away.

So anyway, I finally got on another bus and managed to finally make it home. I left the club at like 2am and didn't get home till like 6am

It was a regular occurrence back in those days for me to fall asleep on a bus and end up on the other side of town. Every time I hung out with that dude he would take me to school drinking wise. And then u add weed to it, by the end of the night u don't know what's what

I did this once. Coming from downtown on the bus drunk as fukk and the bus driver was screaming at me to get off because it was the end of the line. The street I got off on was 63rd and Cottage Grove, real hood as area ( IDK if you see the bait car Chicago episode, but thats the area) It was 3 in the morning summertime. Surprisingly, no one was out there

 

[The G.O.D II]

Now this story is really wild. It doesn't involve me but I witnessed some crazy shyt. Me and my roommate was coming back from a party and we ran into the roommate of this girl we know. The girl we knew went to HS with my roommate and she was the campus ho. A white hoodrat who fukked any and everyone. Real foul girl. The roommate was a big hippy white girl. Real sweetheart. She was fukking wasted off her ass. We walk her back to her dorm room, where the hoodrat slut was. She passes out in her bed while we kick it for a min with whore. Me and my roommate leave to go upstairs to our room when I realize I left my phone in the girls room. I go back and enter the room to find the hoodrat white girl deep sea diving in her roommate p*ssy:sircharles::what2: My exact reaction/movement was

I was shocked that the bytch was basically sexually assaulting her own roommate while she was passed out. I felt especially bad because the hoodrat was super dirty and openly admitted to a group of us how her man burned her numerous times :flabbyhov: I found out a few years later the hippy girl told a friend that she knew the bytch was eating her out, but I guess she was too drunk or scared to stop her

 

[BruhMayne]

I did this once. Coming from downtown on the bus drunk as fukk and the bus driver was screaming at me to get off because it was the end of the line. The street I got off on was 63rd and Cottage Grove, real hood as area ( IDK if you see the bait car Chicago episode, but thats the area) It was 3 in the morning summertime. Surprisingly, no one was out there

The episode where they kept saying "On BD" but the show was showing it as "ol biddy"? I had always thought that was roseland

 

[The G.O.D II]

The episode where they kept saying "On BD" but the show was showing it as "ol biddy"? I had always thought that was roseland

Naw. 63rd. Wouldnt be caught dead over there. I remember back in HS 63rd and king drive wad a death trap. nikkas use to hop on the bus and take anything of value off you if you look like a target. The whole 63rd street is one of the worst in the city. From the lake to the airport

 

[Roaden Polynice]

This one happened last school year, and it still makes me laugh even though it was sorta stupid.

It was one of those nights where my friend and I started out at one bar with a few pitchers and just sorta escalated from there.

Once I start to drink heavily I become very, very friendly with women so I will begin to talk to any woman in proximity. This was much worse during my undergrad years, I've tempered it much since then, but I still like to spit that game from time to time

Anyway I was at a very busy bar talking to some females and my friend and I decide to go get food, and they want to come along.

One of the girls is like, "Alright I'll drive"

Drunk me is like even though it was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done because she was clearly shytfaced but when you got nothing to live for I reckon things like this tend to even themselves out. Just kidding, I was shook the next day, and I don't want to die, but I return to the story

Anyway, my friend and I pile into her little shytty white '93 Toyota Corolla. We're like 7 deep in that bytch. So we decide to go to this Mexican spot and we're driving there with no hitches then she is driving down a pretty large street, in the left lane to turn into the parking lot.

She takes the turn too quick and all the sudden you hear BUMMMPP like cracks of thunder. She drove into the concrete median going like 30 mph or so (that's my drunk estimate) and fukkS her car up. Everyone in the car collectively goes OOOOOHHHHHHHHH

I'm in the back laughing like of course being drunk I didn't really register the consequences but I was like, not my bytch not my problem

Her car somehow makes it into the parking lot and she parks and we all stumble out to assess the damage and her front and rear left wheels are destroyed. shyt is at a tilt.

Being drunk I just walked in the restaurant and ordered, I didn't really give a fukk. And her and her friends didn't either, they went in and we all ate our food.

Fast forward like 20 minutes. I go outside to catch a cab home and do so, told my friend later and went to crash.

Fast forward to next morning I get a call from my friend telling me that (1) the girl was only 18 years old, was in the bar with a fake and that (2) her friends and my friend couldn't get her keys from her, and they let her attempt to drive home. As soon as she pulled out of the parking lot (SOMEHOW) the cops pulled her over and she got a DUI

So. That girl's life was ruined. And that's the end of the story