Anyone else feel like dating has gotten unbelievably more difficult in recent years?
I just got stood up on a date.
The two two before this got cold feet and pulled out on the day - at least they had the courtesy to let me know. That's about as much as I can ask for these days.
I'm only managing to get about 1 in 10 women I talk to on dating apps out onto an actual date these days. Which doesn't seem that bad until I tell you that I'm extremely selective and only swipe right on about 3 or 4 women per week who I think I'll be compatible with and who don't look like window shoppers.
I'm also 6'5 fit and classically handsome with a very solid dating profile showcasing my hobbies and travels.
I'm respectful and engaging when I message women, much more so than the average guy from what I've seen and heard. I ask interesting questions, I weave humor into the conversation, I don't waste too much time talking online but I'm not pushy.
There really isn't a whole lot more that I can do to help my chances.
4-5 years ago when I was in my mid 20s my profile was worse, my personality wasn't as interesting, I was obsessed with working out, I had edgy humor, and yet everything was so much easier. Probably 50% of dating app conversations became real dates if I wanted them to.
Women actually pulled their weight and seemed dare I say enthusiastic to meet me. They even asked me questions unprompted from time to time. And they would even suggest meeting up. It feels like a fever dream now
My dating experience recently has been akin to Sisyphus pushing a ball of shyt up an endless hill, and Atlas condemned to carry the weight of the entire fukking conversation.
I refuse to drop my standards so if these means I only have a date or two per year then so be it.
It's also one of the reasons I've resorted to approaching women in person - no more paying to be ignored by women who had no intention of even meeting you.
Although offline dating seems to have gotten harder as well. I have had a few dates with women I met this way (at least you can be sure that you're actually attracted to them before you have a date)
**Disposable dating culture has been devouring itself** \- when everyone is cutting each other off at the slightest potential fumble fault flaw or foible in the interest of protecting their time and energy, it's no wonder that they're struggling to make meaningful connections. It also seems that ghosting and flaking has become so normalized that it's stranger when people actually communicate with you.
I've had women disappear when I take more than a few hours to reply, when I don't try to fukk them on the 2nd date... and these are women who claim they're looking for long term relationships, in their late 20s who should be more mature than the women I was meeting up with 5 years ago.
(then it seems like some guys can get away with murder once they're in a relationship but that's another topic)
If women have gotten collectively burned out with dating apps then where are they opting to meet guys, because it sure as shyt doesn't feel like things are any easier in real life.
In fact it feels harder than ever to connect with women at bars or festivals these days - I remember 10 years back walking up and chatting to anyone about anything, that just doesn't really fly these days. I hardly even see guys approaching women anymore either.
If they're deciding to do their dating purely through mutual friends then I guess I'm out of the running.
Anyway as I said, I'm a tall, good looking, charismatic guy so If I'm struggling I can't imagine how tough things must be for under average guys, unless they're willing to drop their standards entirely.
I haven't dropped my standards but I have dropped my expectations to nothing so I'm pleasantly surprised by anything. It's a bit sad that it's come to this but there are only so many times you can be disappointed after getting your hopes up before you adapt accordingly.
I'm actually considering waving the white flag and giving up for a while. I don't think I'll meet anyone when I stop looking for it - I ran that experiment and I didn't have a single date for several years, but it's taking a heavy toll on my mental health now. It's just not fun anymore
Have I just had bad luck or have you noticed a shift in the dynamics as well?
What happened?
I just got stood up on a date.
The two two before this got cold feet and pulled out on the day - at least they had the courtesy to let me know. That's about as much as I can ask for these days.
I'm only managing to get about 1 in 10 women I talk to on dating apps out onto an actual date these days. Which doesn't seem that bad until I tell you that I'm extremely selective and only swipe right on about 3 or 4 women per week who I think I'll be compatible with and who don't look like window shoppers.
I'm also 6'5 fit and classically handsome with a very solid dating profile showcasing my hobbies and travels.
I'm respectful and engaging when I message women, much more so than the average guy from what I've seen and heard. I ask interesting questions, I weave humor into the conversation, I don't waste too much time talking online but I'm not pushy.
There really isn't a whole lot more that I can do to help my chances.
4-5 years ago when I was in my mid 20s my profile was worse, my personality wasn't as interesting, I was obsessed with working out, I had edgy humor, and yet everything was so much easier. Probably 50% of dating app conversations became real dates if I wanted them to.
Women actually pulled their weight and seemed dare I say enthusiastic to meet me. They even asked me questions unprompted from time to time. And they would even suggest meeting up. It feels like a fever dream now
My dating experience recently has been akin to Sisyphus pushing a ball of shyt up an endless hill, and Atlas condemned to carry the weight of the entire fukking conversation.
I refuse to drop my standards so if these means I only have a date or two per year then so be it.
It's also one of the reasons I've resorted to approaching women in person - no more paying to be ignored by women who had no intention of even meeting you.
Although offline dating seems to have gotten harder as well. I have had a few dates with women I met this way (at least you can be sure that you're actually attracted to them before you have a date)
**Disposable dating culture has been devouring itself** \- when everyone is cutting each other off at the slightest potential fumble fault flaw or foible in the interest of protecting their time and energy, it's no wonder that they're struggling to make meaningful connections. It also seems that ghosting and flaking has become so normalized that it's stranger when people actually communicate with you.
I've had women disappear when I take more than a few hours to reply, when I don't try to fukk them on the 2nd date... and these are women who claim they're looking for long term relationships, in their late 20s who should be more mature than the women I was meeting up with 5 years ago.
(then it seems like some guys can get away with murder once they're in a relationship but that's another topic)
If women have gotten collectively burned out with dating apps then where are they opting to meet guys, because it sure as shyt doesn't feel like things are any easier in real life.
In fact it feels harder than ever to connect with women at bars or festivals these days - I remember 10 years back walking up and chatting to anyone about anything, that just doesn't really fly these days. I hardly even see guys approaching women anymore either.
If they're deciding to do their dating purely through mutual friends then I guess I'm out of the running.
Anyway as I said, I'm a tall, good looking, charismatic guy so If I'm struggling I can't imagine how tough things must be for under average guys, unless they're willing to drop their standards entirely.
I haven't dropped my standards but I have dropped my expectations to nothing so I'm pleasantly surprised by anything. It's a bit sad that it's come to this but there are only so many times you can be disappointed after getting your hopes up before you adapt accordingly.
I'm actually considering waving the white flag and giving up for a while. I don't think I'll meet anyone when I stop looking for it - I ran that experiment and I didn't have a single date for several years, but it's taking a heavy toll on my mental health now. It's just not fun anymore
Have I just had bad luck or have you noticed a shift in the dynamics as well?
What happened?
