Coli Parents: Was I being a protective parent or a sexiest?

[4North1Side2]

So the other day I took my sons and their 2 cousins to the park. I sat in the car and watched them play. It was 90 degree's this day. The oldest cousin who is 9 came back to the car and asked me permission to take off her shirt since it was so hot out, she says she has a training bra on. Typically parents shut little girls down immediately without second shot but I like to think of myself as a lenient thoughtful parent.

My first thoughts were, damn why do girls always got to show off they bodies when they go outside. I ask her how much of her stomach does it show? I forgot what she said but I determined not enough and said no because I had a visualization of too much skin being exposed. She's dejected and goes back to playing.

Little while later, I look up and see that she took off her shirt anyway. I was going to say something but after further inspection, I determined it was nothing wrong with it. Honestly, she looked no different from my 8 year son when he's in a beater or has his shirt off. I know pretty much every adult would quickly say a little girl playing in her sports bra is inappropriate but I realized it's actually we the adults who are being inappropriate. It never crossed my mind till then how she really felt, hey it really is fukking hot out here, it must be really uncomfortable to play in this weather with multiple layers of clothing.

This is the arguments I hear

Little girls want to grow up quick, there's perverts out there, let kids be kids when it's regarding girls. But I have never once heard anyone say that about boys when they take off there shirts. It's actually celebrated. I've come to determine it's actually the adults in the wrong who are looking at the girls as adults. When kids see kids doing something wrong or what they deem inappropriate, they are quick to tell but not once did my sons come up to me and say "so n so took her shirt off" because they were to busy having fun being kids.


I want to hear you guys thoughts because maybe I'm looking at this wrong.

 

[Dwolf]

A 9 year old child, male or female, shouldn't be running around with their shirt off.

 

[4North1Side2]

A 9 year old child, male or female, shouldn't be running around with their shirt off.

Why?

What are the harmful or negative effects?

I always let my sons outside since birth without they shirt on if it was very hot outside, hasn't caused a problem yet. If your going to use the pervert argument, perverts will savor for your child clothed or unclothed. Clothing doesn't stop curiosity either.

 

[Ashley Banks]

I've come to determine it's actually the adults in the wrong who are looking at the girls as adults.

This. The little girl was just hot, it's the adults that turn it into something else.

Also, I think a lot parents are sexist with the way they raise their children. Like when I was a teenager, my little brother had way more freedom than me. He could stay out later than me, be friends with whoever he wanted to be friends with, dress how he wanted, he even had a gf when he was 14 but me and my sisters weren't allowed to do that. My dad and stepdad said they were just "protecting" us but they were just treating us differently because we're girls.

 

[Rawtid]

First off, if it's too hot for you to sit outside with them to play then it's probably too hot for them to play.

Secondly, a tank top is different than a sports bra so NO I wouldn't allow any little girl I'm responsible for to parade around in their bra. I would have been angry had she did it anyway.

 

[4North1Side2]

First off, if it's too hot for you to sit outside with them to play then it's probably too hot for them to play.

Secondly, a tank top is different than a sports bra so NO I wouldn't allow any little girl I'm responsible for to parade around in their bra. I would have been angry had she did it anyway.

Actually the car was hotter than outside, I had the windows down but no a/c or fan on. As long as i can visually see where my children are at all times, Where I sit to watch my kids is no mattter.

So if a girl is "parading" in a sports bra, what is a boy doing in a tank or his shirt off? Do you consider him looking for attention as well? If not, why not?

 

[4North1Side2]

This. The little girl was just hot, it's the adults that turn it into something else.

Also, I think a lot parents are sexist with the way they raise their children. Like when I was a teenager, my little brother had way more freedom than me. He could stay out later than me, be friends with whoever he wanted to be friends with, dress how he wanted, he even had a gf when he was 14 but me and my sisters weren't allowed to do that. My dad and stepdad said they were just "protecting" us but they were just treating us differently because we're girls.

Im starting to see this as well. Im also seeing how us men do not give any real thought to our boys saftey when they are just in as much danger as girls.

 

[Rawtid]

Actually the car was hotter than outside, I had the windows down but no a/c or fan on. As long as i can visually see where my children are at all times, Where I sit to watch my kids is no mattter.

So if a girl is "parading" in a sports bra, what is a boy doing in a tank or his shirt off? Do you consider him looking for attention as well? If not, why not?

A tank top is different than a sports bra. If she had on a tank or under shirt that's one thing but a bra usually usually covers just boobs. I don't see a problem with boys being treated "differently" than girls because they are different. The same rules don't apply across the board. In terms of "freedom" and behavior I think girls benefit more in the long run when they are restricted in those areas.

 

[SherrieLavish]

I'm kinda on the fence with this one. It's true that there is a double standard when it comes to how we treat boys vs girls. I probably would've made the little girl put her shirt back on mainly because of the pervert argument. But, I agree that it doesn't matter what a child wears in regards to how perverts see them. I guess I just wouldn't be comfortable with her walking around in public like that.

When my niece was 8, my sister let her wear a bikini to an amusement park. Even though there probably was nothing wrong with it, I was still thinking that grown men would be looking at her so I gave her my t shirt to cover up. Even though she was a little butterball turkey and not developed at the time, I couldn't stomach the thought of someone staring at her in that way.

So again, I am on the fence. The most important thing is that you make sure the children are safe and in you're view at all times.

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

Growing up neither boys nor girls would be allowed to be outside without a shirt on

I'd probably be the same if I had kids. If you feel hot enough to want to take your clothes off it's probably time to go back inside or sit under a tree

 

[DanniC]

There is no well in hell my daughter would run around with no shirt on. There is disgusting b*stards out here that would be looking at her inappropriately. However, my sons wouldnt be running around without a shirt on either. Undershirt is the least they out here wearing.