Coli, Can We Talk? (Let Me Vent Please)

[SUAJCS*93*]

I'm changing as a person both good and bad. Now the reason I made this thread is cause the bad changes are starting to scare me.

All my life I've simultaneously been a kind good hearted person but also capable of having an EXTREMELY bad temper and nasty attitude. But... I've never been cold hearted, and I feel that I'm becoming that way. I feel like anyone who is truly cold hearted or becoming that and way and not that fake emo shyt can understand where I'm coming from. It's a lil frightening.

It's nothing to erase somebody's contact, put them on block, and forget their existence anymore. On some fukk everybody and everything that ain't moving how I want and/or need them too, even blood family. Sometimes I feel disgusting and selfish, and deep down I know I'm this way because I'm jaded. NOBODY WILL GET ONE OVER ON ME ANYMORE. You step into my life and world and it's either get down or lay down or be removed from it completely, fukk you suck my dikk.

What really juxtaposes this is at the same time... I've been having the best year of my life. Leaving me conflicted cause I'm constantly thriving while feeling like I'm becoming more evil than I already am. What really leaves me conflicted is that even tho i just typed all of that... I fukking fully welcome the change deep down.

Vent over.

By the way if you're a poster that doesn't like me then please stay the fukk up out my thread cause I don't got time for the BS, y'all know who y'all are.

 

[Arcavian]

Why do you consider yourself cold-hearted? some people need to be thrown in the bushes

I don't really see anything wrong with you. as you get older your tolerance for bulshyt drops dramatically and your just moving past it in my opinion

 

[Rhapscallion Démone]

Is someone or something the root of this change?

 

[Eddie_1100]

Go talk to a dr. Holmes... real shyt

 

[Eddy Gordo]

If evil you is happy and shyt works.
Embrace the new you.

 

[SUAJCS*93*]

Why do you consider yourself cold-hearted? some people need to be thrown in the bushes

I don't really see anything wrong with you. as you get older your tolerance for bulshyt drops dramatically and your just moving past it in my opinion

This! Well at least that's how I justify it

Is someone or something the root of this change?

A long list if both and struggles over the years man

Go talk to a dr. Holmes... real shyt

Why you say it like that?

 

[Freedman]

Is someone or something the root of this change?

"NOBODY WILL GET ONE OVER ON ME ANYMORE" Sounds like simp/lady problems who What she did breh

 

[SUAJCS*93*]

"NOBODY WILL GET ONE OVER ON ME ANYMORE" Sounds like simp/lady problems who What she did breh

If you boil that down purely to problems with the opposite sex then your scope is too small. Now I'm not gonna sit here and front like a clown that it isn't apart of it but it's a mere small fraction.

What I'm mostly talking about is dealing with humans and their bullshyt in general.

 

[Dorian Breh]

If evil you is happy and shyt works.
Embrace the new you.

This breh right here

:jokerhmm:

 

[Rhapscallion Démone]

If you boil that down purely to problems with the opposite sex then your scope is too small. Now I'm not gonna sit here and front like a clown that it isn't apart of it but it's a mere small fraction.

What I'm mostly talking about is dealing with humans and their bullshyt in general.

Cutting negative people off does not make u cold-hearted, evil or unforgiving. Also keep in mind forgiveness does not equal trust in case you are feeling some sort of guilt.

 

[LennoxWine]

I've been having the best year of my life...

Externally maybe, but how about emotionally? You say you feel like you're becoming evil. I can't say what you are or what you aren't, so I'm using your perspective. You feel being cold hearted and selfish is evil, so let's stick with that. You're also conflicted. Is it a belief in karma? Are you wondering how a person so "evil" can find such good fortune? The answer, there's no correlation between prosperity and morality. There's plenty of good people who've been dealt a bad hand, and can't seem to get ahead in life. There's also plenty of morally bankrupt people who experience a lifetime of good fortune. You're having a good year, great, but that doesn't automatically validate your sense of morality or lack thereof. It depends on why you're having what you call "the best year of my life."

It's a lil frightening...

I fukking fully welcome the change deep down...

Do you, bruh, do you. If your purpose isn't to hurt people, be who you want to be. I think you're frightened because the person you want to be goes against what you've been conditioned to believe. Like a lot of people, your upbringing probably consisted of being told how important family is, and how important it is to be caring and selfless. When you're taught that from day 1, and go against it, it's natural to feel like you're doing something wrong. That's why you call yourself "evil." If you truly like who you are on the inside, more power to you. Just be honest with yourself. Maybe you're conflicted because in your heart you don't fully believe "I'm thriving therefore it's right," as a morally sound way to live. You want to, but you're not there yet.

 

[Swirv]

Cold hearted ness is best used as a tool rather than prolonged personality trait

 

[SUAJCS*93*]

Cold hearted ness is best used as a tool rather than prolonged personality trait

And this right here is what I was truly trying to get at.

I know where that can lead you if it becomes prolonged. But at the same time I can't help it, my heart truly is turning colder towards people and they bullshyt.

 

[scarlxrd]

NOBODY WILL GET ONE OVER ON ME ANYMORE

Yeah, you got burned. It's OK to have these feelings. You're protecting yourself, being cold and apprehensive is one thing, as long as you're not being spiteful and trying to ruin someone you're good I guess.

You should try to let those feelings go though. Meditate on it or talk to a counselor.

 

[The Mad Titan]

Seriously tho, sounds like you aren't about the BS anymore. And that's just what happens when you get older. You have less patient for stupidity and people making rash choices and mistakes especially if your actively doing your best to make the correct ones.


Long as you aint screwing over people i don't really see a problem.

"I know people backstab you, I felt bad too
But this 'fukk everybody' attitude ain't natural"