Now this is a long story about how my dating life got flipped-turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how I became the clown prince of a subforum called TLR. 
PRELUDE
Aight, so by 2004 I was a regular SOHH TLR poster. My existence mainly consisted of cracking jokes here and there and staying out of the limelight. Aside from my college roommate that I introduced to SOHH, no one really knew me like that and I was cool.
I had just graduated college, working my first gig making pretty decent starting money in the Consulting industry. I’m just a regular Nigerian American cat living in Philly, enjoying this new stage in my life. My college sweetheart is 2 years behind me, and im thinking we gon get married in a few years and I’d continue my life as a happy serial monogamist.
NOPE! Like 2 days before NYE 2005, we break up on some dumb shyt.
So now I’m a fish out of water in this whole single shyt. I haven’t really dated as an adult, so a nikka just lost. I had no game (which will later be apparent), but at least I wasn’t totally naïve about women and how they aint really made of sugar and spice. 
So what does a nikka who newly single and fresh on the scene do? Hit the bars and clubs and holla at women? YES.
Was I successful? HELL NAH!
At least not in Philly. See, I went to UPENN and if I opened my mouth and let that fly to the average Philly chick, she was quick to throw her magenta weave back, light up a black & mild, blow smoke in my face and laugh at me for being the square ass nicca that I was.
And I wasn’t even square, I drank regularly and smoked occasionally, but I wasn’t committing no crimes nor did I front like I was from the hood. Still, that was a non-starter to most Philly chicks that I would meet while out. I introduce myself, they take forever to say my name correctly, I tell them I’m from Los Angeles. They ask what im doing in Philly, tell them I went to UPENN. They tell me they’re in nail school and the convo usually ends. 
I wanted to keep the convo going, but girls would usually look at me like:
Philly chick:
"PENN? Ivy League? You gotta be a corny ass nikka, aint ya?! 
I bet you don't even have any kids yet? Do ya balls work? Can you grow a Philly beard? 
Nukka: Shhhh. Not so loud.
I'm far from corny, why would you even....
. I love soft pretzels, I'm an Eagles fan, McNabb, Freddie Mitchell, they my nikkaz. STATE PROP CHAIN GANG! Wait, lets start over 
Philly chick: If you don't get yo overly scholarly ass out of my face...
Nukka:
Anyway, back to SOHH TLR. Peep the scene. TLR had women. Like real flesh and blood women. And they were fine.
Imagine a forum where women posted freely with the guys, and it was all cool. Not like this shyt yall got going on now. This was all pre-**** and catfishing and shyt, it was glorious. Like niccaz still had flip phones,
maybe a T-Mobile Sidekick or a Motorola Razr if you were a techie. No selfie sticks or HD webcams. People had to scan actual pictures to post them, so all that trolling shyt would’ve been too hard anyway. And at the time I think Myspace was just starting to get popping and people were starting to do internet dating and shyt. Me? I thought that shyt was for suckers. 
I didn’t have Myspace. Facebook had just hit my school and I wasn’t on it. TLR pairings were starting to pop up here and there, I always thought they were silly cuz how could you meet someone you don’t know like that and start dating them? HOW SWAY! THAT shyt DON’T EVEN MAKE SENSE?!?
Until 1 day I was in the
TLR AOL AIM chat room and im chopping it up with this girl who lives in North Jersey but goes to college in South Jersey. Her screenname was Makayla84. And so begins our story…
PS - Look at the shyt I was subjected to when I tried to leave my old screenname behind. Malc has been trolling for his entire existence.
http://www.thecoli.com/threads/lil-...cross-state-line-to-smash-sohh-poster.296488/
PRELUDE
Aight, so by 2004 I was a regular SOHH TLR poster. My existence mainly consisted of cracking jokes here and there and staying out of the limelight. Aside from my college roommate that I introduced to SOHH, no one really knew me like that and I was cool.
I had just graduated college, working my first gig making pretty decent starting money in the Consulting industry. I’m just a regular Nigerian American cat living in Philly, enjoying this new stage in my life. My college sweetheart is 2 years behind me, and im thinking we gon get married in a few years and I’d continue my life as a happy serial monogamist.
NOPE! Like 2 days before NYE 2005, we break up on some dumb shyt.
So now I’m a fish out of water in this whole single shyt. I haven’t really dated as an adult, so a nikka just lost. I had no game (which will later be apparent), but at least I wasn’t totally naïve about women and how they aint really made of sugar and spice. So what does a nikka who newly single and fresh on the scene do? Hit the bars and clubs and holla at women? YES.
Was I successful? HELL NAH!
At least not in Philly. See, I went to UPENN and if I opened my mouth and let that fly to the average Philly chick, she was quick to throw her magenta weave back, light up a black & mild, blow smoke in my face and laugh at me for being the square ass nicca that I was.
And I wasn’t even square, I drank regularly and smoked occasionally, but I wasn’t committing no crimes nor did I front like I was from the hood. Still, that was a non-starter to most Philly chicks that I would meet while out. I introduce myself, they take forever to say my name correctly, I tell them I’m from Los Angeles. They ask what im doing in Philly, tell them I went to UPENN. They tell me they’re in nail school and the convo usually ends. I wanted to keep the convo going, but girls would usually look at me like:Philly chick:
"PENN? Ivy League? You gotta be a corny ass nikka, aint ya?! I bet you don't even have any kids yet? Do ya balls work? Can you grow a Philly beard? Nukka: Shhhh. Not so loud.
I'm far from corny, why would you even..... I love soft pretzels, I'm an Eagles fan, McNabb, Freddie Mitchell, they my nikkaz. STATE PROP CHAIN GANG! Wait, lets start over Philly chick: If you don't get yo overly scholarly ass out of my face...
Nukka:
Anyway, back to SOHH TLR. Peep the scene. TLR had women. Like real flesh and blood women. And they were fine.
Imagine a forum where women posted freely with the guys, and it was all cool. Not like this shyt yall got going on now. This was all pre-**** and catfishing and shyt, it was glorious. Like niccaz still had flip phones,
maybe a T-Mobile Sidekick or a Motorola Razr if you were a techie. No selfie sticks or HD webcams. People had to scan actual pictures to post them, so all that trolling shyt would’ve been too hard anyway. And at the time I think Myspace was just starting to get popping and people were starting to do internet dating and shyt. Me? I thought that shyt was for suckers. I didn’t have Myspace. Facebook had just hit my school and I wasn’t on it. TLR pairings were starting to pop up here and there, I always thought they were silly cuz how could you meet someone you don’t know like that and start dating them? HOW SWAY! THAT shyt DON’T EVEN MAKE SENSE?!?
Until 1 day I was in the
TLR AOL AIM chat room and im chopping it up with this girl who lives in North Jersey but goes to college in South Jersey. Her screenname was Makayla84. And so begins our story…PS - Look at the shyt I was subjected to when I tried to leave my old screenname behind. Malc has been trolling for his entire existence.
http://www.thecoli.com/threads/lil-...cross-state-line-to-smash-sohh-poster.296488/
Last edited:
