Oh boy, the WWE Money in the Bank 2023 was more like a circus with muscles and an unexpected family reunion. Here's a comedic breakdown of the events:
1. **Damian Priest Wins the Men's Money in the Bank Ladder Match**: Seven men fought like cats in a bag, but Damian Priest used his ninja skills to climb the ladder and snatch the briefcase. The others probably needed a GPS to find the top of that ladder.
2. **Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler**: In the most shocking moment of sisterhood betrayal since Caesar met Brutus, Baszler turns on Rousey mid-match. Baszler must have thought, "Sister before Mister, but titles before friendships."
3. **Gunther vs. Riddle for the Intercontinental Championship**: Gunther and Riddle turned the ring into an MMA class. After Gunther wins, Drew McIntyre appears like a Scottish phantom, dishes out his signature moves, and poses with Gunther’s title. Talk about a photo op!
4. **Cody Rhodes vs. Dominik Mysterio**: Cody defeats Dominik, but who cares about that because John Cena materializes like he's been teleported from 2005. He talks about London, WWE, and probably his grocery list. Grayson Waller interrupts, and they get into a scuffle like two people fighting over the last donut.
5. **IYO SKY Wins the Women's Money in the Bank Ladder Match**: IYO SKY climbs the ladder like she’s late for a flight. The rest might have thought they were in a battle royal, not a ladder match. She grabs the briefcase and probably wonders if she can exchange it for frequent flyer miles.
6. **Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the World Heavyweight Championship**: Rollins and Balor fight like they’re in a Marvel movie. Balor’s demon couldn’t help him this time, as Rollins wins and probably thinks he’s now worthy of wielding Thor’s hammer.
7. **The Usos vs. Roman Reigns and Solo Sikoa in a Bloodline Civil War Tag Team Match**: The Usos win when Jey Uso pins Reigns. Somewhere in the midst, they probably wondered if they should stop fighting and just have a family BBQ instead.
And that's WWE Money in the Bank 2023 for you, a night of muscle, mayhem, and Cena appearing like your uncle who always crashes family events
