Being Brought Up By A Single Mother Makes You Stronger

[Tommy Knocks]

You'd probably be stronger if you're a male brought up by a single father tho. :uhhuh:

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

As a black man who has "succeeded" (grew up in poverty, went to university, and got a pretty good job) having been raised in a single mother household...I will tell you that I much rather would have learned manhood in the home growing up than having my 20's become a clusterfukk of madness as I tried to learn (and am still trying to learn) proper manhood.

I probably wouldn't have dipped into so many women raw, and thought fukking a lot of girls would make me more of a man. I probably wouldn't have trouble respecting women that are emotionally stable. I probably wouldn't look at every woman as an opportunity for sex and keep a roster of women at all times. I probably would be able to commit to one woman in a healthy way. I probably would be more stable emotionally. I probably wouldn't have a kid out of wedlock with a woman who is, not being arrogant, not in my league.

You know how hard my life has been cuz of not having a father growin up? fukk it, yeah, I'm strong--people say that about me all the time, I make a lot of money off it, banking on motivational speaking--but I wish I didn't have to be so damn strong. I wish I had received more guidance. I wish I had someone who taught me how to talk to girls when I was young instead of having to figure it out in my 20's, spend years gaming chicks, manipulating, and lying as I tried to be a player to make up for lost time. I wish I had someone to teach me how to build and fix things and how to drive. Instead, I'm just really good at understanding feelings and shyt, lol.

But yeah, I went to school, got a job, and have a lil cash. I'm a man.

You just described it for us.That's exactly it

 

[MBwithadream]

Example: Bob Marley, Tupac, John Lennon


thats just off the brain.

They had mothers that put them above their life.

You don't see that nowadays.

 

[MBwithadream]

clearly you're winning...

 

[YBE]

I know my father but, I didnt have a relationship with him when I was younger. By the time I got to know him, I was in high school and not really checking for some cat that was never there trying to be pops We cool now tho. Point is, my brothers and uncles put me on game.....but, I still had to learn alot of shyt through trial & error.....so yall are right in that regard. I'm not gonna go on any further cuz @Guess Who pretty much said everything I would say as eloquently as possible


All these "you not a real man" posters tho, chill playboy If yall want to have a real discussion, we can have a real discussion but, acting yall better than people, fukk outta here, you know damn well you wouldn't be talkin like that in person

 

[Regular_P]

I was brought up by just my mom. I know my father now, but we don't have a real relationship and he wasn't there for any of my childhood. Seeing him and getting to know a little about him though, I'm glad he wasn't there while I was growing up. He woulda stunted my growth, fukked things up in the household and maybe slowed me from becoming who I am today (and I'm quite pleased with who I've become).

He's 10x weaker than my mom, has an addictive personality and I honestly can't believe my mom ever went for him (even told her that too).

I was fortunate that my mother is as strong as she is and NEVER allowed me to see any struggle, even though now I know that financially she went through some VERY tough times. Because of her I have a very high standard for women and really just people in general.

She guided me in the right directions and showed me a positive way of life, but at the end of the day, she allowed me to make my own decisions for life and never tried to influence me on beliefs. She put a lot of trust in me to make the right decisions and let me have independence. Not that she wasn't stern or wouldn't lay down the law if necessary, but she let me be me.

 

[Mowgli]

@Mowgli ...it's true that I had to unlearn some bullshyt when I moved out...particularly, learning how to stand up to women and be independent in general, cuz my mother is one of those "strong" dominant tyrant type personalities...probably why she sucks at relationships (which I tell her all the time, she can't compromise for shyt, doesn't hear ppl out in conflict, always has to have the last word, and doesn't apologize for shyt). She good at raising kids, though.

But what I learned from all this? Be very present in my son's life NO MATTER WHAT!!

To me what that says is you saw something in yourself that didnt need 2 be there due to something you learned solely under the care of your mother. If single mothers make you stronger, then why would you be concerned about being a better father. Lets be real here. What you learned is 2 parent homes, are better but unfortunately you had to learn first hand how important it truely is.

 

[MoneyTron]

I don't know where I'd be without my dad and uncles brehs. Couldn't imagine not having them around.

I had to teach my best friend how to tie a tie in college. His dad was never around to show him. That shyt hurt me inside. Stuff like that why I could never leave my future kids with just their mother.

 

[Guess Who]

To me what that says is you saw something in yourself that didnt need 2 be there due to something you learned solely under the care of your mother. If single mothers make you stronger, then why would you be concerned about being a better father. Lets be real here. What you learned is 2 parent homes, are better but unfortunately you had to learn first hand how important it truely is.

I agree with you. As strong as my mother is, I wish I had two good parents growing up, and not having that has taught me the importance of a two-parent family. Especially looking at my friends--all of those from single mother homes have had shytty relationships with women or had no relationships at all due to not knowing how to talk to women or not respecting them and just fukking...and these same dudes had to struggle and figure out a lot of things that my few friends from two-parent homes just seemed to know by the time they left high school.

 

[Mowgli]

I agree with you. As strong as my mother is, I wish I had two good parents growing up, and not having that has taught me the importance of a two-parent family. Especially looking at my friends--all of those from single mother homes have had shytty relationships with women or had no relationships at all due to not knowing how to talk to women or not respecting them and just fukking...and these same dudes had to struggle and figure out a lot of things that my few friends from two-parent homes just seemed to know by the time they left high school.

Whats funny is the 2 parent home cats take what they know for granted. They go through the same cycles when they go from 2 parent homes to havin baby mamas. Something their parents never saw happening.

Whats more frightening is on the low, the cat who tries to be the best father and be there for his kid, doesnt realize that some bytches are so triflin, you end up being percieved as a dead beat daddy. That, or they meet a bytch so triflin, they stop giving a fukk, and become one

 

[Guess Who]

Whats funny is the 2 parent home cats take what they know for granted. They go through the same cycles when they go from 2 parent homes to havin baby mamas. Something their parents never saw happening.

Whats more frightening is on the low, the cat who tries to be the best father and be there for his kid, doesnt realize that some bytches are so triflin, you end up being percieved as a dead beat daddy. That, or they meet a bytch so triflin, they stop giving a fukk, and become one

I feel you...a lot of those two-parent home cats do take that shyt for granted, and on the low, in bad times, I get jealous...like fukk y'all two-parent home nikkas, lol. And I know it's irrational cuz nobody chooses the circumstances they're born into, it's just hard seeing other nikkas strive while I've had to struggle, simple cuz of who produced us...it's hard to accept, especially knowing that if I had two parents I'd be halfway through my Phd right now, and travelling all over the world like I dreamed as a kid. But instead I'm struggling with my bachelor's degree and a middle class wage, trying to upgrade my marks to further my education since my son being born during university destroyed my GPA.

And about these women...my son's mother, she gave me hell for the first two years of his life...first of all, I'm about 95% sure that she had a keep-a-nikka baby. Secondly, knowing that, as much as I tried to stay with her I couldn't cuz of the anger and resentment...which led her to getting upset and leading me through a two year court battle over nonsense. And I say nonsense because I paid child support from day one and held down my responsibilities, but she was trying to get sole custody (thus taking me out of any life decisions for my child, like which school he attends, etc.) and implement dumb conditions like for example if she were to fall into bad health her mother would get custody, or that she should get him every Xmas cuz I never celebrated it growing up (cuz I was poor and we couldn't afford presents) and shyt like that. In the end, she grew the fukk up and we worked it out and now have a great relationship with each other and always stay on the same page in terms of parenting. We communicate very well. She has turned into a very good mother honestly.

fukked up part is when she was in her third trimester she called me up late one night crying saying she wish she had gotten the abortion like we had planned and agreed to in the event that the birth control "failed," saying that I could walk away from everything if I wanted to and she would never contact me...basically, she felt guilty and she realized she fukked up. But I said, "fukk that shyt," cuz regardless of whatever deceit went into creating my son, I still stuck my dikk inside her, so I decided to stand up and handle my responsibilities like a man. So now that's what I do and I'm proud of it.