Anybody else afraid to fall in love? I try guard my heart as much as I can but my armor is cracking

[DrX]

Disclaimer: This may be my last thread for a while. I've said that million times but im obviously addicted to this site for some fukked up unspecified deep seeded emotional and psychologically reason. This site talk about alot of topics that fukk with my head and I need all the strength I can have to be strong on this mission that I'm on. Too many vultures out here looking at me with a knife and a fork ready to eat..... but little do they know... I don't plan on ending up on nobodies dinner plate.. But I need to go cold turkey. I already know what the withdraws will look like by day 5.)




(this track don't got nothing to do with the thread...its banging tho....I like the vibe so much I gotta post it)

I digress, Anyway

I've reached a point in my life where I feel very vulnerable. I cant hold it in anymore. I really want a kids and a wife. To be in love. To hold hands, cuddle all of that. family trips

I know what your thinking "this nikka is a cornball simp fakkit", this is thecoli.com after all...I once was that guy myself but My armor is cracking. The loneliness that I feel is eating at me in a major way. I can only stay strong for so long. I need love and bad. My me against the world , lone wolf mentality is finally taking its course. I've been able to will myself to do things that probably few could without help but it ate away at me I must admit and left me harden and killed some of my humanity.

We live in a era where getting married and falling in love is absolutely fukking stupid. It makes no sense at all. But then human nature kicks in and it becomes a fight between logic, rational thinking vs raw human feelings. tough battle to stay disciplined and have that tunnel vision.

I've been trying to protect myself from people for a long time. Trying not to taken a advantage of, trying to constantly outhink and maneuver around any obstacle in my way and its left me weak and tired...im ready to submit and just finally take the risk of being vulnerable to other human beings.

Who knows it may work out or I might end up losing everything I worked for.... while she get custody of the kids and at night let 3 random men cum on her face at a motel in a remote location because she want to "explore her sexuality". After the bukkake session she take my money and take the guys shopping. While im in a small studio apartment with gun on my lap contemplating blowing my brains out.

The thought of being the guy working while his wife is getting slutted out terrifies me....so I thought I could simply avoid it by focusing on my goals and becoming detached...but the human part of me yarn for a soul mate that probably don't even exist btw lol but everybody need someone...its inevitable....life is a interesting thing...never one sided, always a yin and a yang

 

[Larry Lobster]

 

[At30wecashout]

I'm not afraid, I just don't know if I can. I have walls on walls on walls up, and none are intentional. I learn by experience.

Touch a hot pot. It burns.

Speed in the presence of a cop...get a ticket.

Put your feelings and trust into one person...hope for the best. The best didn't happen. Nearly the worst did. You only need to learn certain lessons once, and

that was one of them.I sometimes crave companionship. Companionship is amazing when it is a mutually beneficial situation. I don't, however, crave love and the

vulnerability that used to come with it. Better to be the driven villain than the flawed hero.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

Bruh, why do you use The Coli as your personal venting medium?

Like are you really expecting real answers here? Go see a therapist dog. You got a lotta shyt on your mind and I don't think this is the place to seek help.

 

[11101]

this track don't got nothing to do with the thread...its banging tho....I like the vibe so much I gotta post it

I digress, Anyway

Get some help bro.

 

[BruhManFromTheFifthFlo]

You ain't afraid to, ya bytch ass just can't find a girl that wants to love you back

y'all, let's start a GoFundMe for this nikka @DrX to buy a hoe to get some p*ssy

 

[DrX]

I'm not afraid, I just don't know if I can. I have walls on walls on walls up, and none are intentional. I learn by experience.

Touch a hot pot. It burns.

Speed in the presence of a cop...get a ticket.

Put your feelings and trust into one person...hope for the best. The best didn't happen. Nearly the worst did. You only need to learn certain lessons once, and

that was one of them.I sometimes crave companionship. Companionship is amazing when it is a mutually beneficial situation. I don't, however, crave love and the

vulnerability that used to come with it. Better to be the driven villain than the flawed hero.

Is it really tho?

thats rational to think...but the need for companionship is strong.........


You can only hold on so long before your armor starts to collapse...we all human dawg....

unless your humanity is just died already...I can relate...some of mines is dead and never coming back

alot part of me is dead internally...I think true love would heal it...but does true love even exist? probably not

 

[DrX]

Bruh, why do you use The Coli as your personal venting medium?

Like are you really expecting real answers here? Go see a therapist dog. You got a lotta shyt on your mind and I don't think this is the place to seek help.

no...just a conversation, i did ask a question afterall

 

[Ol’Otis]

 

[DallasTxRep]

But I need to go cold turkey. I already know what the withdraws will look like by day 5.

 

[Neil Tyson]

log off fakkit

 

[M'gann]

"disclaimer: this will be my last thread for awhile"
.

 

[At30wecashout]

Is it really tho?

thats rational to think...but the need for companionship is strong.........


You can only hold on so long before your armor starts to collapse...we all human dawg....

unless your humanity is just died already...I can relate...some of mines is dead and never coming back

alot part of me is dead internally...I think true love would heal it...but does true love even exist? probably not

All I know is, people think something is wrong with me for how I approach a lot of things. For one, my no female friend rule, and my flagrant disregard
for common pleasantries leaves folks amused or amazed, or both. I typically roll with whatever those who hang around me say, but when I take time out
to explain, I just let em know I cared about a lot of things are one point, and my approach was totally different, especially with regards to women.

Women, the ones I have known that is, made a damn good effort at killing whatever it was I felt before. I didn't make me this way, they did. That isn't to say
I don't enjoy them in my company or what have you, but I became much more secure in being who I am since I don't give a damn about what a woman would
think anymore. I am a loner by nature who makes a conscious decision to open up. I am not socially awkward, and I can charm any damn body without even
trying. I just don't do it unless there is something to be gained. No, I am not manipulating people. Yes, I am selectively taking the path of least resistance.

Love exists. It can be wonderful if you are lucky. I wasn't.

 

[Neil Tyson]

The fukk this thread is moist as fukk.

 

[Antiquity]

im obviously addicted to this site for some fukked up unspecified deep seeded emotional psychologically reason.

I've reached a point in my life where I feel very vulnerable. I cant hold it in. I really want a kids and a wife. To be in love. To hold hands, cuddle all of that.

Only a seldom amount of people in this world can break their biological programming. You are not one of them. You've tried to convince yourself numerous times that you've conquered you're urges but you absolutely have not. You're urges will subdue you no matter how hard you try. You will always lose when placed up against biology. You, as a man, are wired to seek companionship in a mate and have children who reflect you and your partner's love because it is your genetic purpose. It's encoded in your DNA and this compulsion towards finding a woman will continue to trail behind you despite any efforts to get rid of it. You're biological compulsories, especially as a man, are much more powerful than your mind is. This desire will not be ridden of until you properly address it.

I once was that guy myself but My armor is cracking. The loneliness that I feel is eating at me in a major way. I can only stay strong for so long. I need love and bad. My me against the world , lone wold mentality is finally taking its course. I've been able to will myself to do things that probably feel could but it ate away at me I must admit and left me harden and jaded.

Once more, you've tricked yourself into thinking that you can out-do your natural yearnings. All human beings are equipped with the desire to communicate and create social relationships. You're motive to have a wife and children completely conflicts with you're devotion towards ignoring people. It has to be either one or the other. You want love and attention and thus you need to break out of this "me vs everyone" mentality and accept the fact that you want acceptance just like everyone else. You would feel a tremendous weight off of your shoulders if you've realized that you're not only making yourself miserable by trying to defeat your natural urges, but accept the fact that you are just like all other human beings. You might think differently or talk differently than those around you but at the end of the day you have the same wants and needs as everyone else. When people try to hold themselves in superior regards to others is when they box themselves out of society and end up lonely or isolated.

We live in a ear where getting married and falling in love is absolutely fukking stupid. It makes no sense at all. But then human nature kicks in and it becomes a fight between logic, rational thinking vs raw human feelings.

This is true, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be affected by it. Marriage rates are tumbling because we live in a culture that glorifies recklessness and immoral behavior. There are plenty (although not that many) of women out there who express the same concerns that you do. They'll be hard to find but they are out there.

The thought of being the guy working while his wife is get slutted out terrifies me....so I thought I could simply avoid it be focusing on my goals and becoming detached...but then that human part of me yarn for that soul mate that probably don't exist but everybody need someone...its inevitable....life is a interesting thing...never one sided, always a yin and a yang

This is why people need to place more emphasis on getting to know their partner versus marrying them based off of their appearance. People change. Wait a few years to get the know the personality of your partner and if it meshes with yours then you marry them. It will be a challenge, but find someone who clearly carries themselves with dignity, has respect for others and has common sense/intelligence and can go into worldly discussions that don't have to do with materialism.