America has a Black sperm donor shortage. Black women are paying the price.
- Thread starter Anerdyblackguy
- Start date
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
Part of this is on the Cryobanks. They advertise on PWI campuses. If they really wanted to serve BW they could advertise at Howard, Morehouse, or whatever local HBCU and fill the gap partially. Black dudes just aren't their target recruitment.
Also, maybe if I had thought about it 20 years ago before marriage, etc. I would have donated my sperm to hopefully help a Black family in need. If I was young now, I would honestly be more hesitant. The sad stories of an infertile or injured Black husband are actually the minority of cases. I don't have exact numbers for the US but in Australia 85% of women seeking sperm donors are single women or lesbian couples
www.bbc.com
Say what you want, but I would have conflicting thoughts about donating if I knew the vast majority of the kids spawned would be with single-by-choice moms or two mom households. That's just the way I feel. If there is a traditional husband/wife Black couple that needs help, I would be for it all day.
Also, maybe if I had thought about it 20 years ago before marriage, etc. I would have donated my sperm to hopefully help a Black family in need. If I was young now, I would honestly be more hesitant. The sad stories of an infertile or injured Black husband are actually the minority of cases. I don't have exact numbers for the US but in Australia 85% of women seeking sperm donors are single women or lesbian couples
The millennials choosing friends as sperm donors
Many LGBTQ couples are opting to start families with donations from friends or acquaintances – a choice helping to re-define modern family structures.
www.bbc.com
Say what you want, but I would have conflicting thoughts about donating if I knew the vast majority of the kids spawned would be with single-by-choice moms or two mom households. That's just the way I feel. If there is a traditional husband/wife Black couple that needs help, I would be for it all day.
cacs always finding a way to stay relevant
Call me old fashioned 
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
Call me old fashioned
You laugh but I know a few woman that selected a man to pipe them down with the upfront agreement she would raise the kid herself. Not saying that should be the main option but women do this.
dora_da_destroyer
Master Baker
that's a weird take. i'd get it if it were some man hating woman having a baby on her own because feminism!!!!, but should a woman just settle for letting the dream a of being a mother die if she hasn't found a husband by 40 (generally when you can pretty much call having babies a wrap)? or should she have a baby by a rando and deal with custody bullshyt? i also don't get the hate for same sex couples, rather a kid be raised by two loving moms (or dads) than a volatile husband & wife.Part of this is on the Cryobanks. They advertise on PWI campuses. If they really wanted to serve BW they could advertise at Howard, Morehouse, or whatever local HBCU and fill the gap partially. Black dudes just aren't their target recruitment.
Also, maybe if I had thought about it 20 years ago before marriage, etc. I would have donated my sperm to hopefully help a Black family in need. If I was young now, I would honestly be more hesitant. The sad stories of an infertile or injured Black husband are actually the minority of cases. I don't have exact numbers for the US but in Australia 85% of women seeking sperm donors are single women or lesbian couples
The millennials choosing friends as sperm donors
Many LGBTQ couples are opting to start families with donations from friends or acquaintances – a choice helping to re-define modern family structures.
Say what you want, but I would have conflicting thoughts about donating if I knew the vast majority of the kids spawned would be with single-by-choice moms or two mom households. That's just the way I feel. If there is a traditional husband/wife Black couple that needs help, I would be for it all day.
edit: oh, and OP, post this in TLR, i'd like to see how that goes
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O³ (O cubed)
No more PAWGs, PLEASE??!!!??
I'm sorry but reading about sperm donation, I realise that I can't wank that much.
Wargames
One Of The Last Real Ones To Do It
How much do they pay for sperm? Because I’m out here throwing it away for free. I’ll even do the insertion myself if they pay a premium.
DrBanneker
Space is the Place
I'm happy to get your view as a woman since I know how the Coli swerves eventually. I probably wasn't clear enough in my first post so let me elaborate.
I understand a lot of fertility issues indirectly. My wife went to an Ivy League business school and I was dating her at the time. She told me one day that the women in business club had someone come in and talk about egg freezing at one of their meetings. I hadn't known much about that before but even though the ladies there were upper twenties/30 on average their career trajectories and dealing with the dating game put them at risk of having fertility issues. We had kids in our early-mid thirties so didn't have that issue but many friends and family of ours have had many issues concieving or finding a partner. So I get it to a big extent.
My first comment was that the cryobanks need to get their act together and recruit more Black men since if all others have this option I would hope Black women have it as well. So I am not totally against it.
Look, I am not against single women or same-sex couples having a family on moral grounds or think it should be legally proscribed. I have many friends that had excellent single parents and also know some same-sex couples that would be great parents. I have no problem with them adopting or having kids. I just have two personal views on the issue that conflict with how a lot of modern cryobanks are being used.
First, while I think kids can be raised well in any family type, I personally don't believe you can then conclude all family arrangements are equally good for kids. Many single women do better than couples with a dipshyt dad but in aggregate, I feel, and many statistics point out, outcomes are better for kids raised with two parents, even though most cluster around being 'average parents' by definition. I don't know the dynamics of kids raised by same sex parents vs. opposite sex parents but I still think there is something lost since you can't exactly replicate gender dynamics even if one partner is more masculine/feminine. I still think that having a roughly average mom and dad will in aggregate trump the alternatives and arguing that some mom/dads are terrible and some single moms or same sex couples are excellent doesn't negate that.
Second, and this is exclusively personal, if I gave sperm and years later met the kids and it was a bunch of kids that were like 'meet my mommy' or 'meet my mommies' it would be bittersweet.
On one hand I would be happy the kid was able to exist and that I helped fulfill someone's desire to be a parent.
On the other hand I had have a sinking feeling realizing that I had basically facilitated bringing a bunch of kids into families that had no Black male present by design.
This may sound harsh, but to argue for greater access Black sperm but to then be equivocating or negative about having a Black man around to contribute to child raising, I just don't completely rock with that even if I understand the circumstances beyond their control, especially in the Black community, that create this conundrum. Just my opinion, not claiming it is a grand moral truth.
Now I understand the next question is whether I would feel better if those women used Whites, Latinos, or Asians as donors since no Black sperm was available. That is the dilemma. I would want them to have access but if everyone thinks like me, there won't be any. My only conclusion at this point is that there should be enough Black men of different view to contribute to allow them to have Black kids though I and others may not be 100% on board with this scenario, especially if it scaled substantially in the future.
This is just one moral dilemma biotechnology is going to hand us this century and the ride is just going to get crazier from here on out.
dora_da_destroyer
Master Baker
those studies are based on looking at all single mothers, which are disproportionately women who are single mother by chance, not choice, and they usually fall into lower socioeconomic brackets. Single moms by choice are often more educated and high earners (just think of the barrier that fertility treatments are and who can afford them) and kids generally fare the same with them as the average two parent household.
Gender dynamics aren’t just learned from parents, sibling sets, socialization and the other people you have in a kids life greatly affect this and/or can balance what’s not seen at home. And of course not every heterosexual couple has typical gender dynamics.
I get that, but black women are the least married women in America, the reality is the ones who actually want kids and don’t end up having them as some fluke outcome to a non-relationship sexual encounter should be able to fulfill that, especially if they’re economically sound.
But the black community is very conservative about this in general. It’s a recruiting thing and also cultural. There also aren’t enough black egg donors for black women/couples who need donor eggs. It’s amazing how freely we make unwanted babies in our community but have “moral” conundrums about helping to make babies people would pay 50k+ to bring into the world.
This is horrifying on so many levels
I swear black people are in dire straits
I swear black people are in dire straits
NZA
LOL
you are going to have to come get it the hard way. the juice is worth the squeeze!
