5 Things To Remember While Enjoying*Porn
- Thread starter Chief
- Start date
Ain't That Something
Superstar
Pornographic entertainment is clearly all the rage these days. Its a total contrast to a couple of decades ago, when porn was only available via videotape or paper, behind some liquor stores counter on a stand slightly higher than a childs field of vision.The way kids snuck & saw porn in those days was if they had the patience & opportunity to stare at scrambled UHF television screens until they isolated a nipple or butt crack, or to finding their pops/uncles/older brothers stash & living vicariously through them.
Times have changed, though.
Porn, much like smoking weed, has long been wiped free of the stigma & taboo it was once cloaked in. You dont even have to leave your bed thanks to the internets intimate relationship with mobile devices. Basically, its everywhere. & even though its healthy to release the poison occasionally, its important that one doesnt let cyber world porn cause real world problems. That type of shyt can happen very easily & does fairly often.
To avoid all that drama, though, weve provided a foolproof list of 5 things to remember while enjoying porn.
5. They Are Professionals
Sex is exercise, like swimming. You dont do it as often as you should or would like to, but when you do, it works out muscles that you may not be aware even existed. & since it is actual exercise, their may be a time restraint on how long your partner is willing to bounce or get pounded. See, some of those chicks are literally holes housed on a human template. Their orifices have been manipulated & tortured, repeatedly for years, & its a career to them, even if they dont like it anymore. Theyre completely different than girls who have at least moderate self-esteem & a reason to respect themselves. Just because you saw a mandingo lubricate a broads clavicle doesnt mean that you should try it tonight with your babymomma, unless shes a porn star also or just likes jewelry.
4. Your Chick Aint That Chick
The worst thing a dude can do is assume that his girl is willing to do the same semi-acrobatic stuff that those chicks get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to do. Lots of hard work & practice goes into being the best on-camera sex-haver, & unless your lady is especially skilled & experienced in this field, shes not going to perform like a porn star. But alas, dont fret, because this means that shes not a whore, & in most instances, thats a good thing.
3. Its Hollywood Magic At Its Finest
Contrary to what porn teaches us, the human body is a gross collection of fat, scar tissue, stretch marks, & years of general physical abuse. Porn stars have the benefit of an entire conglomerate of employees dedicated to things like butt sphincter bleaching, unwanted hair removal, & moisturizing the places that one cant normally reach at their disposal at any given sex-filled moment. If a hair is out of place, its someones job to stop filming & fix it. Not to mention the team of film editors, directors, & miscellaneous button-pushers whose job is arguably as tough as the stars. A porn clip may be 20 minutes of unheralded, relentless ugly-bumpage, but in actuality is probably two hours of great camera work, good editing, & any other Hollywood magic the companys checks can muster up.
2. Gratuitous Fornication Aside, Its Still A Movie
In real life, if you happen to deliver a pizza or certified package to some lonely spinster wife, dont count on her offering up her goodies as a tip. Those type of things dont happen in real life (generally), & when they do, its usually a one-time deal. When its all said & done, porns are movies; fantasy role-playing performances that rely on a script & a directors guidance. Much like any other aspect of the entertainment industry, its only to be taken at face value, & attempting at home may cause injury or worse. Yanking your girls pony tail during the height of intimacy may not get you the same response that the Pizza Delivery Guy got, because they are actors. For illustrative purposes; porn should be ingested in the same cautionary dosages as Gangsta Rap.
1. Youre Not One Of Them
All men have learned a trick or two from watching porn. Thats a fact. What the camera doesnt show, though, is that a lot of these porn starlets are somewhat frail & rather petite, giving their body parts the appearance of being massive. It also makes the male co-stars seem like supermen, man-handling their counterparts in ways us normal guys could only imagine. To further accentuate their manliness, they pull hair, slap asses, & even choke the chicks to simulate rough sex. The thing about that, though, is not every girl wants to be physically assaulted during intercourse. True, women seem to like a rigorous, vigorous smackdown every once in a while, but for the most part, stick to the basics. That way, not only will you not develop any embarrassing injuries to your back or groin, but youll also avoid any possible legal action she may decide to take in her freaked out state of mind.
Also, wear condoms. Porn never shows the part where a baby pops out nine months later.
Words by Tony Grands
@TheTonyGrands
Times have changed, though.
Porn, much like smoking weed, has long been wiped free of the stigma & taboo it was once cloaked in. You dont even have to leave your bed thanks to the internets intimate relationship with mobile devices. Basically, its everywhere. & even though its healthy to release the poison occasionally, its important that one doesnt let cyber world porn cause real world problems. That type of shyt can happen very easily & does fairly often.
To avoid all that drama, though, weve provided a foolproof list of 5 things to remember while enjoying porn.
5. They Are Professionals
Sex is exercise, like swimming. You dont do it as often as you should or would like to, but when you do, it works out muscles that you may not be aware even existed. & since it is actual exercise, their may be a time restraint on how long your partner is willing to bounce or get pounded. See, some of those chicks are literally holes housed on a human template. Their orifices have been manipulated & tortured, repeatedly for years, & its a career to them, even if they dont like it anymore. Theyre completely different than girls who have at least moderate self-esteem & a reason to respect themselves. Just because you saw a mandingo lubricate a broads clavicle doesnt mean that you should try it tonight with your babymomma, unless shes a porn star also or just likes jewelry.
4. Your Chick Aint That Chick
The worst thing a dude can do is assume that his girl is willing to do the same semi-acrobatic stuff that those chicks get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to do. Lots of hard work & practice goes into being the best on-camera sex-haver, & unless your lady is especially skilled & experienced in this field, shes not going to perform like a porn star. But alas, dont fret, because this means that shes not a whore, & in most instances, thats a good thing.
3. Its Hollywood Magic At Its Finest
Contrary to what porn teaches us, the human body is a gross collection of fat, scar tissue, stretch marks, & years of general physical abuse. Porn stars have the benefit of an entire conglomerate of employees dedicated to things like butt sphincter bleaching, unwanted hair removal, & moisturizing the places that one cant normally reach at their disposal at any given sex-filled moment. If a hair is out of place, its someones job to stop filming & fix it. Not to mention the team of film editors, directors, & miscellaneous button-pushers whose job is arguably as tough as the stars. A porn clip may be 20 minutes of unheralded, relentless ugly-bumpage, but in actuality is probably two hours of great camera work, good editing, & any other Hollywood magic the companys checks can muster up.
2. Gratuitous Fornication Aside, Its Still A Movie
In real life, if you happen to deliver a pizza or certified package to some lonely spinster wife, dont count on her offering up her goodies as a tip. Those type of things dont happen in real life (generally), & when they do, its usually a one-time deal. When its all said & done, porns are movies; fantasy role-playing performances that rely on a script & a directors guidance. Much like any other aspect of the entertainment industry, its only to be taken at face value, & attempting at home may cause injury or worse. Yanking your girls pony tail during the height of intimacy may not get you the same response that the Pizza Delivery Guy got, because they are actors. For illustrative purposes; porn should be ingested in the same cautionary dosages as Gangsta Rap.
1. Youre Not One Of Them
All men have learned a trick or two from watching porn. Thats a fact. What the camera doesnt show, though, is that a lot of these porn starlets are somewhat frail & rather petite, giving their body parts the appearance of being massive. It also makes the male co-stars seem like supermen, man-handling their counterparts in ways us normal guys could only imagine. To further accentuate their manliness, they pull hair, slap asses, & even choke the chicks to simulate rough sex. The thing about that, though, is not every girl wants to be physically assaulted during intercourse. True, women seem to like a rigorous, vigorous smackdown every once in a while, but for the most part, stick to the basics. That way, not only will you not develop any embarrassing injuries to your back or groin, but youll also avoid any possible legal action she may decide to take in her freaked out state of mind.
Also, wear condoms. Porn never shows the part where a baby pops out nine months later.
Words by Tony Grands
@TheTonyGrands
Ricky Church
Stole Timberlake's Spaceship-Coupe
this is like something kids that are just discovering porn should be reading 
pez
All Star
"dead, cremated, scattered at sea"
jking23258
Pro
this is like something kids that are just discovering porn should be read
I said the same thing in my head