I found this hilarious, what do y'all think
The 5 Most Common Errors of First Time Job Applicants | Cracked.com
Some good excerpts
#5 . They Make Up Bullshyt
"When we needed to fill a position at my old job, one of our greatest joys was rooting through the applications and finding the most ridiculous, exaggerated job titles from their previous employment. We've all done it -- we've doctored up our last position to make it sound more important and impressive than it really was. The difference between adults doing it and teens doing it, though, is that adults generally have more work experience, so they've had positions that supply a better foundation for stacking on the piles of bullshyt. For instance, "Social Networking Strategist" is a pretty cool-sounding way to title the job of "posted shyt on Twitter and Facebook." They had a job with computers, trying to promote a website. That's pretty easy to decorate because it's already tech-related"
"The heart of the matter is this: It isn't so much that you're trying to make a mundane job sound important and techy. It's that when the potential employers read these titles, they think, "Do they think I'm fukking stupid? Like I'm going to read that title and decide 'Holy shyt, we have to snatch this one up right now before someone else does!'"
#4 . They Get Obvious Help in the Wrong Way
"While the kid silently filled out the application, his dad got chatty with me and the hiring manager, telling us that it was high time his son got a job because "all he does is sit around the house and play goddamn video games." And "I can't even get him to get off of his ass to do basic chores without hearing him whine about how much it sucks, so he's getting a job whether he likes it or not and learning a little about real life.
The second he left, we pulled out the Post-it notepad and wrote a big red "NO" to decorate the cover of his application. Then we took a moment to appreciate the dad's honest, unintentional warning that his kid was a whiny piece of shyt who had to be forced to do the most menial work. Sorry, Dad, but we're not his fukking babysitter.
The 5 Most Common Errors of First Time Job Applicants | Cracked.com
Some good excerpts
#5 . They Make Up Bullshyt
"When we needed to fill a position at my old job, one of our greatest joys was rooting through the applications and finding the most ridiculous, exaggerated job titles from their previous employment. We've all done it -- we've doctored up our last position to make it sound more important and impressive than it really was. The difference between adults doing it and teens doing it, though, is that adults generally have more work experience, so they've had positions that supply a better foundation for stacking on the piles of bullshyt. For instance, "Social Networking Strategist" is a pretty cool-sounding way to title the job of "posted shyt on Twitter and Facebook." They had a job with computers, trying to promote a website. That's pretty easy to decorate because it's already tech-related"
"The heart of the matter is this: It isn't so much that you're trying to make a mundane job sound important and techy. It's that when the potential employers read these titles, they think, "Do they think I'm fukking stupid? Like I'm going to read that title and decide 'Holy shyt, we have to snatch this one up right now before someone else does!'"
#4 . They Get Obvious Help in the Wrong Way
"While the kid silently filled out the application, his dad got chatty with me and the hiring manager, telling us that it was high time his son got a job because "all he does is sit around the house and play goddamn video games." And "I can't even get him to get off of his ass to do basic chores without hearing him whine about how much it sucks, so he's getting a job whether he likes it or not and learning a little about real life.
The second he left, we pulled out the Post-it notepad and wrote a big red "NO" to decorate the cover of his application. Then we took a moment to appreciate the dad's honest, unintentional warning that his kid was a whiny piece of shyt who had to be forced to do the most menial work. Sorry, Dad, but we're not his fukking babysitter.
