1. SHE WAS AWESOME FOR CONFESSING
My girlfriend since high school (we were in college at the time) made out with a guy in Mexico. The next day she called me long distance crying and told me everything. She got drunk, they were dancing at a club and she made a stupid mistake. At the time, we broke up. I was so angry I just broke up with her on the spot. I was in a parking lot in Nashville with a long distance calling card breaking up with my girlfriend.
It took a little bit for me to realize (strangely) what an awesome person she was for confessing. I later learned that all of her friends there tried to talk her out of calling me and confessing, but she called me anyway. We had been dating for 3 years at the time so it hurt.
After college I moved to Chile for 4 years, we kept in touch. I moved back to the US because I had a shot at getting back together with her. We’ve been married for over a year now and have a 8 month old daughter, she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me
My story is kinda unique. I believe that someone who cheats might always be that way, but there are exceptions. Also, If someone is cheating on their SO to be with you, then get ready to be cheated on later on down the road.
2 SHE HATED HERSELF
Over. I really did forgive her, but she had so much internal guilt over it she couldn’t be happy around me. She hated herself. So after 4 months of that, she just moved out one day. The whole idea of that relationship was a mindfukk.
3 “FRIENDS”
She just cheated on me more, then remained my “friend” after leaving me and my son for my best friend. Then she cheated on him a few times. They are still together. I guess we’re more alike than we thought.
She just recently “friend dumped” me because I asked her if she wanted to visit her son on Tuesday.
She doesn’t know I’ve been keeping records for months building a solid case for a hefty lawsuit.
4 “I NEVER REPLY”
First time she cheated on me and I caught her, she cried and begged and I didn’t break up with her, took a while to trust her again…
Moved to Korea together from South Africa, lived here for two years. She went to visit her sister who was also in Korea and I had to stay behind and work. Months later I get home and she is on the bed crying saying she can’t lie anymore, she cheated on me while she was visiting her sister, she feels terrible, please forgive her. I do.
We finish working in Korea, she wants to travel Central and South America before moving back to South Africa to study some more. We spend a year backpacking from Northern Mexico to the Southern tip of South America…
We get back to South Africa, I struggle to find work because there is no work in South Africa, I freelance as an environmental impact assessment contractor. Work is not steady. I end up having to go to very remote parts of the country to try to keep making some money in between the periods of no work. I get back from the middle of nowhere, I walk into the door, she says we need to talk, she asks me to leave and go to my parents. I am shattered, we were meant to be forever.
I go to my folks, we break up officially about a week later. I spend six months living with my parents in a terrible state of depression. I guest lecture at universities but am drinking a lot and don’t care. I decide to move back to Korea. Dad and Mum agree that it is a good idea. I move back.
I still speak with her a bit, she then says we shouldn’t be friends on Facebook and we need to take time not talking to each other. I agree…
She e-mails me a few months later, says she feels guilty and doesn’t want to lie anymore, she had been dating one of my “best friends” since I basically walked out the door to go home to my folks… I say “all I ever wanted was for you to be happy and if it couldn’t be with me I hope you can be with him.”
Never speak to her again.
I’ve been back in Korea for three years now, got married just over six months ago. I am so thankful for the six months I got to spend with my Mum and Dad. My Dad died three months ago and my Mum said that those six months really made my Dad happy to know me as a grown man and not a boy anymore.
She tries to contact me, she and my “best friend” have broken up. I never reply.
5 IT’S A PATTERN FOR HER
She cheated on me two more times and left me.
Had another failed marriage after me and, according to mutual friends, is now married to the guy I caught her cheating with about 20 years ago.
6 SHE CALLED ME “POLYPHOBIC”
She cheated on me with one of my best friends. I actually figured it out rather quickly. I gave her a second chance, even paid for couples counseling and tried to open up the lines of communication.
In the end, though, turns out that she never stopped seeing him, and I broke things off after she tried to convince me that it was a polyamorous relationship and I was being “polyphobic.” She still sees nothing wrong with what she did and I haven’t talked to her since.
We were together for 2 years.
7 IT’S LIKE I WOKE UP FROM A DREAM
Cheated on me again! Lied to me about why she wanted a divorce.. Left me for some older washed up dude at her work. Needless to say I found myself in a much better position and feel like I woke up from a crazy fukkin’ dream all these years.
8 I TURNED INTO A JEALOUS DOUCHE
I wanted to work it out, but I just never got it right in my mind, and turned into a jealous douche. It was awful, and she left. Thank god because I was just stupid back then. No regrets because I am in a good place now, but I would never do that again. It never goes away.
9 IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP IMAGINING THE WORST
I am no longer with her. But I did try to give her another chance.
It just doesn’t work. Once that initial trust has been broken, it’s impossible to keep your mind from wandering and thinking she’s out sucking some other dude’s dikk whenever you haven’t heard from her in awhile.
10 “SHE IS A 100% DIFFERENT PERSON NOW”
I’ve always been the break it off as soon as that shyt happens guy but I gave her another chance because of how genuinely heartbroken she seemed that she did it. She came to me and admitted it and completely broke down, I almost walked away right then but I didn’t. She is a 100% different person now, and I trust her more than any other person in my life, literally never crosses my mind anymore but it did take a long time to earn back the trust. Been about 5 years since then and we couldn’t be happier.
11 I REGRET GIVING HER A SECOND CHANCE
Been around 7 years and it is still REALLY hard for me to trust her despite everything being great for 7 years. Doesn’t help that she had lied and cheated on numerous occasions and I would imagine that is only what I found out about. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get her a ring. If I could go back, I wouldn’t give her a second chance.
12 I LOST HER AND MY BEST FRIEND, I MISS THEM TERRIBLY
Nonexistent. She cheated on me with my best friend. I tried to make it work with her for various reasons. But in my heart I believe it was because I physically couldn’t handle losing both simultaneously. I grieved over him. Then I finally broke up with her a few months later and grieved over her. I knew it couldn’t last because I couldn’t trust her, but I didn’t want to be alone. Now I am alone. I’ve heard rumors she and him are together now. I still dream about one or both of them at least once a week. And miss them terribly. It’s been 3 years now.
13 WE’RE POLYAMOROUS NOW
We both cheated while he was doing a study abroad. We both confessed when he got home. We were both hurt, but not as mad as we would have expected. We started discussing nonmonogamy and eight years later are polyamorous.
14 I WAS A SERIAL CHEATER
Was in a LTR and cheated. I came clean and was forgiven, only to continue cheating. It was the elephant in the room, I cheated often. He knew. It made me pity my SO for putting up with being treated that way and eventually leave him.
Years later, I still feel guilty. I had a hard time being in a relationship again after I left my SO I had cheated on. Now, I’m in a co-habitating long term relationship. I think what I did to my previous SO has made me much more sensitive and open with my current SO. I do not hide anything from him.
15 JUST GOT MARRIED TO A NEW WOMAN A MONTH AGO
She cheated again and contracted HIV. I got tested several times over the last 7 years and I’m HIV free, just got married to an amazing woman one month ago yesterday, and the ex is miserable. The first time was with my “best friend” at the time, who she’s married to now. The second time was with a guy who lived at the same apartment complex that we did. She wasn’t aware of his illness and I don’t think he was either.
16 WE’RE FINALLY UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER
So, I had a particularly bad experience where my wife and I’s relationship went downhill (I worked massive hours and virtually ignored her) so she went out and had multiple affairs on me. I was unhappy too and had cheated as well (not nearly as bad as what she did, but still).
When I found out what she did, I immediately wanted a divorce, but a friend of mine who had gone through this gave me some very good advice. Wait at least two months before you make a decision. And don’t let anger be the primary cause for your decision. I began the divorce process anyway, but was not going to file immediately.
Now, if your spouse wants to leave you for someone else, it’s a whole different matter entirely. That was not the case for me.
So, we went to counseling, and in the process, laid bare everything that was going on between us and our issues. It was surprisingly freeing. We had not been honest with each other in years, and we had a mountain of issues that led to where we were. I found that while it’s often easy to blame the other spouse for cheating, when often yourself had a lot to do with why they strayed.
So, begrudgingly at first, I (we) worked at it, and we learned our love languages, and tried to make it work. And it’s been 1000% better than before. The reason it has is due to the fact that, before, we never tried to understand each other and show each other the love each needed. After bridging this massive rift, as strange as it sounds, we feel like we’ve gotten over a massive trauma that actually brought us closer.
I also want to give my wife credit, as she worked extremely hard to rebuild my trust and show me how much, how desperately, she wanted to save our marriage. That helped a lot.
It wasn’t easy, and I thought about leaving several times, and some people may not be able to get over it, but I was able to. And I’m glad I did, because we are much stronger than we had been before.
17 SHE RUINS EVERYONE’S LIVES
She cried. Said she was sorry. She promised never to do it again. Well, that lasted 2 more years.
My ex.
It took me years of therapy to get through that. I finally figured it out. It wasn’t me. It was her. She cheated on me. She cheated on the guy before me. And she cheated on the guy before him. She also cheated on the guy after me. It’s not about “not being cut out for monogamy”. She will totally agree to “monogamy” and then lie and scam to get away with cheating. A complete piece of shyt as a human being. Ruined my life. Ruined our kids’ life. Ruined her own life. Made everyone in both of our families very unhappy for a while. Not even for a lay: just to stroke her broken fukking ego.
Am I over it? Yeah. Doesn’t mean I am not going to carry bitter memories for the rest of my life. I mean: who the fukk does this shyt? Doesn’t their conscience bother them? No shred of common human decency?
18 WE DIVORCED AND IT WAS NO ONE’S FAULT
Divorced. She cheated super early on in our relationship (still dating, before engagement/marriage), she admitted it later on and we got through it. She never cheated again, but her reason for cheating was ultimately what ended our marriage. In the end we just weren’t compatible, she needed more from me than I was able to give.
There was no fault in the divorce, just that we weren’t the right ones for each other.
19 IT WON’T EVER BE THE SAME BUT THAT’S OKAY
My wife cheated on me. Bottom line was that forgiveness was easier than starting over. Had one child at the time, refused to break his home. More importantly though was that she regretted it, eliminated the dirtbag from her life, and vowed to make it right. It won’t ever be the same again, but thats ok. We’re happier than ever, another baby on the way.
My girlfriend since high school (we were in college at the time) made out with a guy in Mexico. The next day she called me long distance crying and told me everything. She got drunk, they were dancing at a club and she made a stupid mistake. At the time, we broke up. I was so angry I just broke up with her on the spot. I was in a parking lot in Nashville with a long distance calling card breaking up with my girlfriend.
It took a little bit for me to realize (strangely) what an awesome person she was for confessing. I later learned that all of her friends there tried to talk her out of calling me and confessing, but she called me anyway. We had been dating for 3 years at the time so it hurt.
After college I moved to Chile for 4 years, we kept in touch. I moved back to the US because I had a shot at getting back together with her. We’ve been married for over a year now and have a 8 month old daughter, she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me
My story is kinda unique. I believe that someone who cheats might always be that way, but there are exceptions. Also, If someone is cheating on their SO to be with you, then get ready to be cheated on later on down the road.
2 SHE HATED HERSELF
Over. I really did forgive her, but she had so much internal guilt over it she couldn’t be happy around me. She hated herself. So after 4 months of that, she just moved out one day. The whole idea of that relationship was a mindfukk.
3 “FRIENDS”
She just cheated on me more, then remained my “friend” after leaving me and my son for my best friend. Then she cheated on him a few times. They are still together. I guess we’re more alike than we thought.
She just recently “friend dumped” me because I asked her if she wanted to visit her son on Tuesday.
She doesn’t know I’ve been keeping records for months building a solid case for a hefty lawsuit.
4 “I NEVER REPLY”
First time she cheated on me and I caught her, she cried and begged and I didn’t break up with her, took a while to trust her again…
Moved to Korea together from South Africa, lived here for two years. She went to visit her sister who was also in Korea and I had to stay behind and work. Months later I get home and she is on the bed crying saying she can’t lie anymore, she cheated on me while she was visiting her sister, she feels terrible, please forgive her. I do.
We finish working in Korea, she wants to travel Central and South America before moving back to South Africa to study some more. We spend a year backpacking from Northern Mexico to the Southern tip of South America…
We get back to South Africa, I struggle to find work because there is no work in South Africa, I freelance as an environmental impact assessment contractor. Work is not steady. I end up having to go to very remote parts of the country to try to keep making some money in between the periods of no work. I get back from the middle of nowhere, I walk into the door, she says we need to talk, she asks me to leave and go to my parents. I am shattered, we were meant to be forever.
I go to my folks, we break up officially about a week later. I spend six months living with my parents in a terrible state of depression. I guest lecture at universities but am drinking a lot and don’t care. I decide to move back to Korea. Dad and Mum agree that it is a good idea. I move back.
I still speak with her a bit, she then says we shouldn’t be friends on Facebook and we need to take time not talking to each other. I agree…
She e-mails me a few months later, says she feels guilty and doesn’t want to lie anymore, she had been dating one of my “best friends” since I basically walked out the door to go home to my folks… I say “all I ever wanted was for you to be happy and if it couldn’t be with me I hope you can be with him.”
Never speak to her again.
I’ve been back in Korea for three years now, got married just over six months ago. I am so thankful for the six months I got to spend with my Mum and Dad. My Dad died three months ago and my Mum said that those six months really made my Dad happy to know me as a grown man and not a boy anymore.
She tries to contact me, she and my “best friend” have broken up. I never reply.
5 IT’S A PATTERN FOR HER
She cheated on me two more times and left me.
Had another failed marriage after me and, according to mutual friends, is now married to the guy I caught her cheating with about 20 years ago.
6 SHE CALLED ME “POLYPHOBIC”
She cheated on me with one of my best friends. I actually figured it out rather quickly. I gave her a second chance, even paid for couples counseling and tried to open up the lines of communication.
In the end, though, turns out that she never stopped seeing him, and I broke things off after she tried to convince me that it was a polyamorous relationship and I was being “polyphobic.” She still sees nothing wrong with what she did and I haven’t talked to her since.
We were together for 2 years.
7 IT’S LIKE I WOKE UP FROM A DREAM
Cheated on me again! Lied to me about why she wanted a divorce.. Left me for some older washed up dude at her work. Needless to say I found myself in a much better position and feel like I woke up from a crazy fukkin’ dream all these years.
8 I TURNED INTO A JEALOUS DOUCHE
I wanted to work it out, but I just never got it right in my mind, and turned into a jealous douche. It was awful, and she left. Thank god because I was just stupid back then. No regrets because I am in a good place now, but I would never do that again. It never goes away.
9 IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP IMAGINING THE WORST
I am no longer with her. But I did try to give her another chance.
It just doesn’t work. Once that initial trust has been broken, it’s impossible to keep your mind from wandering and thinking she’s out sucking some other dude’s dikk whenever you haven’t heard from her in awhile.
10 “SHE IS A 100% DIFFERENT PERSON NOW”
I’ve always been the break it off as soon as that shyt happens guy but I gave her another chance because of how genuinely heartbroken she seemed that she did it. She came to me and admitted it and completely broke down, I almost walked away right then but I didn’t. She is a 100% different person now, and I trust her more than any other person in my life, literally never crosses my mind anymore but it did take a long time to earn back the trust. Been about 5 years since then and we couldn’t be happier.
11 I REGRET GIVING HER A SECOND CHANCE
Been around 7 years and it is still REALLY hard for me to trust her despite everything being great for 7 years. Doesn’t help that she had lied and cheated on numerous occasions and I would imagine that is only what I found out about. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get her a ring. If I could go back, I wouldn’t give her a second chance.
12 I LOST HER AND MY BEST FRIEND, I MISS THEM TERRIBLY
Nonexistent. She cheated on me with my best friend. I tried to make it work with her for various reasons. But in my heart I believe it was because I physically couldn’t handle losing both simultaneously. I grieved over him. Then I finally broke up with her a few months later and grieved over her. I knew it couldn’t last because I couldn’t trust her, but I didn’t want to be alone. Now I am alone. I’ve heard rumors she and him are together now. I still dream about one or both of them at least once a week. And miss them terribly. It’s been 3 years now.
13 WE’RE POLYAMOROUS NOW
We both cheated while he was doing a study abroad. We both confessed when he got home. We were both hurt, but not as mad as we would have expected. We started discussing nonmonogamy and eight years later are polyamorous.
14 I WAS A SERIAL CHEATER
Was in a LTR and cheated. I came clean and was forgiven, only to continue cheating. It was the elephant in the room, I cheated often. He knew. It made me pity my SO for putting up with being treated that way and eventually leave him.
Years later, I still feel guilty. I had a hard time being in a relationship again after I left my SO I had cheated on. Now, I’m in a co-habitating long term relationship. I think what I did to my previous SO has made me much more sensitive and open with my current SO. I do not hide anything from him.
15 JUST GOT MARRIED TO A NEW WOMAN A MONTH AGO
She cheated again and contracted HIV. I got tested several times over the last 7 years and I’m HIV free, just got married to an amazing woman one month ago yesterday, and the ex is miserable. The first time was with my “best friend” at the time, who she’s married to now. The second time was with a guy who lived at the same apartment complex that we did. She wasn’t aware of his illness and I don’t think he was either.
16 WE’RE FINALLY UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER
So, I had a particularly bad experience where my wife and I’s relationship went downhill (I worked massive hours and virtually ignored her) so she went out and had multiple affairs on me. I was unhappy too and had cheated as well (not nearly as bad as what she did, but still).
When I found out what she did, I immediately wanted a divorce, but a friend of mine who had gone through this gave me some very good advice. Wait at least two months before you make a decision. And don’t let anger be the primary cause for your decision. I began the divorce process anyway, but was not going to file immediately.
Now, if your spouse wants to leave you for someone else, it’s a whole different matter entirely. That was not the case for me.
So, we went to counseling, and in the process, laid bare everything that was going on between us and our issues. It was surprisingly freeing. We had not been honest with each other in years, and we had a mountain of issues that led to where we were. I found that while it’s often easy to blame the other spouse for cheating, when often yourself had a lot to do with why they strayed.
So, begrudgingly at first, I (we) worked at it, and we learned our love languages, and tried to make it work. And it’s been 1000% better than before. The reason it has is due to the fact that, before, we never tried to understand each other and show each other the love each needed. After bridging this massive rift, as strange as it sounds, we feel like we’ve gotten over a massive trauma that actually brought us closer.
I also want to give my wife credit, as she worked extremely hard to rebuild my trust and show me how much, how desperately, she wanted to save our marriage. That helped a lot.
It wasn’t easy, and I thought about leaving several times, and some people may not be able to get over it, but I was able to. And I’m glad I did, because we are much stronger than we had been before.
17 SHE RUINS EVERYONE’S LIVES
She cried. Said she was sorry. She promised never to do it again. Well, that lasted 2 more years.
My ex.
It took me years of therapy to get through that. I finally figured it out. It wasn’t me. It was her. She cheated on me. She cheated on the guy before me. And she cheated on the guy before him. She also cheated on the guy after me. It’s not about “not being cut out for monogamy”. She will totally agree to “monogamy” and then lie and scam to get away with cheating. A complete piece of shyt as a human being. Ruined my life. Ruined our kids’ life. Ruined her own life. Made everyone in both of our families very unhappy for a while. Not even for a lay: just to stroke her broken fukking ego.
Am I over it? Yeah. Doesn’t mean I am not going to carry bitter memories for the rest of my life. I mean: who the fukk does this shyt? Doesn’t their conscience bother them? No shred of common human decency?
18 WE DIVORCED AND IT WAS NO ONE’S FAULT
Divorced. She cheated super early on in our relationship (still dating, before engagement/marriage), she admitted it later on and we got through it. She never cheated again, but her reason for cheating was ultimately what ended our marriage. In the end we just weren’t compatible, she needed more from me than I was able to give.
There was no fault in the divorce, just that we weren’t the right ones for each other.
19 IT WON’T EVER BE THE SAME BUT THAT’S OKAY
My wife cheated on me. Bottom line was that forgiveness was easier than starting over. Had one child at the time, refused to break his home. More importantly though was that she regretted it, eliminated the dirtbag from her life, and vowed to make it right. It won’t ever be the same again, but thats ok. We’re happier than ever, another baby on the way.
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