Ladies, 'tis the season...

Lil Big Daddy

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Something for the coli queens (the female ones only, not @ADK).



4 Things Young Black Women Should Remember When Dating
http://blacklikemoi.com/2013/08/4-things-young-black-women-should-remember-when-dating/

By: Madam Prezident


70% of African American women are unmarried. Although that’s a large amount of unmarried black folk—it’s a harsh reality. Being an African American woman currently on the dating scene, I noticed a few mistakes that we as women make when meeting someone new. These mistakes are the top 4 things that keep us single.


1) Clingy
Stop being clingy—if you are the clingy type, then stop. It’s not a bad thing to desire the presence of someone you like, but when you are forcing your connection oppose to allowing it to take it’s natural course, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. I am a strong believer that we all make time for the people and things that are important to us. If you think you need to be clingy to keep his interest, then it’s apparent he’s not that interested in you.

2) Expectations
Have clear expectations when you meet someone new. If you are looking to date long-term, short-term or you’re just “kickin’ it“—take the time to let the prospective dater know. One of our biggest mistakes as women is our inability to be “straight up“. When a man is solely interested in you sexually, he doesn’t hesitate to tell you. Having clear expectations will save you a lot of time, and from long pointless dates.


3) Don’t Date Potential
For some reason, black women like to date men who have the potential of being a good, employed, or strong man. This kind of behavior needs to stop. You don’t walk on a car lot to purchase a dependable car, and allow the dealer to show you a non-operable car—telling you it has the potential to run. If you work full time and you want your man to work full time then date a man who has a job. If you’re a Christian woman who wants a church going man, then don’t meet the guy at the club and pray he desires to attend church—date the brother at the church. We have to date a man’s reality not his potential.


4) Do Not Have Sex on the 1st Date
If you’re not looking for a relationship that is solely sexual, then don‘t start the relationship off with sex. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve had “some“, and you’re probably in orgasmic hiatus, but don’t be desperate and careless by being sexually active with a man that you barely know. Many women like to use the philosophy of being a “grown woman” who can handle sexual intercourse without any attachment as their justification for sleeping with men expeditiously. In actually it’s a lie. I do not believe it is humanly possible for a woman to have anything on the inside of her and not be attached. God did not create us that way. If you want something more than sex, then don’t make sex the foundation of your relationship. In other words, make him wait.
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5 Types Of Men To Avoid During “Cuffing Season”
http://theurbandaily.com/2014/09/15/5-types-of-men-to-avoid-during-cuffing-season/
Sep 15, 2014

By Tony Grands


“Cuffing season” is like mating season for humans. It’s like what would happen if Noah’s Ark had a nightclub on deck seven. With angry breezes slapping us ever so gently across the face and wintertime right around the corner, it can only mean “Cuffing Season” is upon us yet again, and that people are pairing up whether they like it or not.



unemployed-cuffing.jpg


The Gainfully Unemployed

The gainfully unemployed guy has no intentions of ever getting a job. Instead, he works just as hard at not getting one, tying together loose ends and finding shortcuts to survive.
He’ll assume all the household job duties and even be the best stepdad in the world if need be, just for an allowance and a place to lay his snapback-covered head. Occasionally he’ll pour all his efforts into selling weed to make ends meet, but that only lasts as long as his current victim girlfriend chooses to give him money. Once she gets tired of aiding and abetting his felonious activity, his re-ups dwindle and down goes his clientele. The biggest hiccup with this man is that if he put half of his hustle energy into searching for gainful employment, he’d have his own car by now, instead of driving yours all day (while you’re at work). The hopelessly unemployed cat might have a self-esteem problem that you can’t fix with hugs and kisses or sex and may be so messed up by his childhood that he no longer has the drive to be productive.
Essentially, he tapped out of real life, but this only becomes your problem if you allow it to. By the time you tire of giving him money, it’s too late. Your credit is shot and you’ve incurred debt that you didn’t know you had. Instead of giving him money, give him tips on how to create an attractive resume or simply change the locks in the middle of the night..
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The Internet Rapper

The Internet rapper has his sights set on fame and fortune and is not going to take “No!” for an answer. He rarely sleeps and dedicates himself to the “grind” regardless of how penniless the present circumstance may be.
His motivation is the nominal amount of attention he garners on the Internet, which keeps his hopes floating higher than he is every day when he leaves the house for “the studio.” The Internet rapper actually has a decent idea on how to survive and get paid for what he does, the only problem is the struggle that occurs in the meantime. Also, you will be his second priority, no matter how sexy your Victoria’s Secret lingerie seems to be. To be with this man means that you understand the aspects of the “starving artist” and everything that lifestyle entails. When strangers ask him what he does for a living, he adamantly says “I’m a rapper,” even though he may have nothing to show for it but a handful of website links.
There is the chance that his career may take off after countless hours of recording and a backlog of performances that he never got paid for, but as the prophet Kanye West foretold many moons ago; “when he get on, he’ll leave your ass for a White girl.” That reference could be for cocaine or an actual Caucasian chick.
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The Absentee Father

The absentee father may be allergic to responsibility and can readily camouflage himself with all his other good qualities. He’s not necessarily a bad guy at heart per se, and in many instances is merely a product of his environment. After all, it’s impossible to expect someone to do something that they’ve never been taught how to do.
There could be a number of reasons why he doesn’t engage and participate in his children’s lives (just paying child support isn’t active fatherhood), but rest assured that if you allow a bun to be placed in your own oven, he won’t magically become a chef overnight. He may, in fact, transform into Usain Bolt and sprint away while you’re at the grocery store buying baby food. Nevertheless, the same fight-or-flight hormones will likely kick in again, and you’ll be stuck in the same predicament as the woman (or women) you so fervently protected him from previously. It’s wise to not allow yourself to be put in that situation, no matter how good the intercourse or companionship may be. And if he lied about having kids when you met him, you can be positive that he doesn’t see them.
Even if the reasons why him and their mothers don’t get along makes all the sense in the world, there’s no justification. Being a father is stressful, but a dude who turns his back on his own flesh and blood is likely the same dude who will steal money out of your purse and try to bone your sister and blame both heinous acts on an imaginary drinking problem.
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The Hustleman

The upside to the hustleman is that he always has a few dollars to spare. The downside is that he always smells like Patchouli Oils and incense.
The Hustle man is known for turning nothing into something, but that’s not always a good thing. When you met him, he convinced you that he had the best quality bootleg movies in whatever city you lived in, slid you his card, and you brought into his madness. Now, every other day, he has a trunk full of stolen jeans or hijacked baby bottles and he won’t spend any quality time with you and your kids because he has to get off all his inventory. The Hustleman’s work ethic is admirable, but that means nothing when your cousins call you and complain about how their copy of Madea’s latest movie looks like it was captured on a Blackberry or that the knock-off perfume he sold her for $3 gave her a rash on her boobs. And when it comes time to buy gifts for people, he starts handing out too big t-shirts and socks, no matter the person or the occasion.
Your biggest fight in this situation is with yourself, trying not to believe that you, too, were hustled.
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The Baby Boy

The big kid, also known as the “baby boy” has no intention of ever growing up. The only woman for him is his mother, and when she’s not available, it’s his grandmother. In fact, oftentimes his grandmother is his “mother” since she’s the one who raised him, but that’s neither here nor there.
All his life, his mom cleaned up behind him, fed him, enabled him, possibly even lied for him and that’s not changing any time in the near future. Depending on the number of years between him and his mother, they may have grown up together — so to speak — which makes their bond more like siblings than anything else. That’s why his mom always looks like she wants to fight you, because you are taking her brother away.
The baby boy loves video games, spending endless hours with his friends, and is easily distracted by loud, shiny things. And strippers. He would rather eat a combo meal from the local burger joint than throw on a nice pair of pants and a decent shirt and sit in an actual restaurant. Why? Because he prefers french fries over french food. Arguments with a baby boy generally end with him telling you he’s a “grown ass man” before he storms out of the house, only to immediately return, ask you for your car keys, and storm out again. No matter how many times you attempt to belittle his crew of buddies, he’d much rather spend time under them than on top of you (see what I did there?).
If this is a challenge you choose to accept, best believe it’ll be the equivalent of adopting an adult.
 

Lil Big Daddy

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I shoulda let this thread die :wow: It was already on the 2nd page when I got to it.

But instead, you realized that there was a plethora of information pertaining to your girly pants fakkit self in here and thought better of it :umad:
 

ADK

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But instead, you realized that there was a plethora of information pertaining to your girly pants fakkit self in here and thought better of it :umad:
I aint even read it. I read the first line with my name in it, scrolled, saw Lil B :blessed:, scrolled down some more, wrote a reply, then gave this 2 stars.
 

Ohene

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They tired a coulda woulda's and might-be's bruh what can we say :manny: that want men of action like myself :obama:
how old are you though?

the problem with her analogy is these girls aint "purchasing" shyt. Guys are for the most part doing the spending
 

Lil Big Daddy

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how old are you though?

the problem with her analogy is these girls aint "purchasing" shyt. Guys are for the most part doing the spending



You highlighted #3 and said " a young nikka cant get a break out here". In #3 she speaks of wanting a strong man not one with the potential to be strong bruh.

She said she wants a good man, one who is employed. I replied and said yeah women basically want a man that IS , not a man that "could be".

And then the only analogy she used said that 'you wouldn't go to a car lot and buy a car based on it's potential to run, you would rather know for sure'.

So now I ask of thee, young brother, wtf does any of that have to do with women not purchasing shyt and guys doing all of the spending :why:
 

Ohene

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You highlighted #3 and said " a young nikka cant get a break out here". In #3 she speaks of wanting a strong man not one with the potential to be strong bruh.

She said she wants a good man, one who is employed. I replied and said yeah women basically want a man that IS , not a man that "could be".

And then the only analogy she used said that 'you wouldn't go to a car lot and buy a car based on it's potential to run, you would rather know for sure'.

So now I ask of thee, young brother, wtf does any of that have to do with women not purchasing shyt and guys doing all of the spending :why:
lol breh look at what you wrote. The dating game is a matter of potential in itself. You dont know what youre getting into when youre dating somebody no matter how long you've known them because ppl act different when it comes to their relationships.

obviously a girl shouldnt go for an unemployed heathen but the phrase "dont date potential" implies that a girl should go for a dude who has it all together and ignore anybody that is working towards some goals..shyt nikkas in the club cant be churchgoers or religious now? A dude mightve just graduated college and is abgging groceries until he finds a better job. We gonna act like thats the kind of employed the journalist is talking about? :comeon: Dont play stupid. And to top it off it aint like we havent seen a ton of these girls use the "if you cant handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best shyt." If the article is for 30 year old women cool...but otherwise that part of it was delusional.
 
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